


Back to the Start

by escaped_reality



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Future Fic, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-06-06 19:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15201794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/escaped_reality/pseuds/escaped_reality
Summary: After fourteen years, Waverly and Nicole are married with two adopted children. They are living in absolute bliss in Purgatory's Suburbia. The family of four are living the life they always dreamed of together......until the truck came out of nowhere.





	1. Chapter 1

Waverly slowly fluttered her eyes open and was greeted by a beautiful sight in front of her. She smiled as she saw her wife sleeping peacefully in her arms. Her red hair sprawled across the pillow and her arm wrapped tightly around Waverly’s waist. Nicole’s head was snuggled into Waverly’s chest while her warm breath softly tickled the brunette’s skin.

Waverly brought her hand up and gently started stroking Nicole’s cheek. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was to wake up to this woman every day. Fourteen years ago, if you told Waverly she would be married to Nicole with two amazing children she would have laughed in your face, but now? She wouldn’t have traded it for anything in the world. She knew that this was what she had always wanted, what she had always dreamed of and she couldn’t be happier. Most of her childhood she was cast aside and forgotten about, but now she was a vital part of a massive family and she relished in it. She leaned up and softly placed a kiss on top of Nicole’s head letting out a hum in utter content.

It had been fourteen years since she had met Nicole, the moment those beer taps exploded her life had changed forever. They officially married each other when the demon hunting settled down long enough for a reprieve after four years together. Their oldest son was sure to be the ring bearer on that fateful day. They adopted him when he was four. He wandered into the sheriff’s station late one night while Nicole was working. He immediately took a liking to Doc of all people. He followed the gunslinger around the sheriff’s station in a cowboy costume, a gift from Wynonna, of course. The child never spoke a word to anyone so they settled on a name that seemed only fitting, Henry. After searching for his parents for almost a full year, Waverly and Nicole made the decision to adopt him after two years of dating. It hadn’t been an easy road, but Waverly wouldn’t change it for anything. She will never forget the first time she heard their oldest son speak, he called her Mama.

She was broken out of her thoughts when she heard her wife let out a little snore in her sleep. She never thought her big, badass cop would be so overwhelming cute and loveable when she met her, but, boy, was she wrong.

 _Nicole_ , she was certainly the best thing that had ever happened to Waverly besides their two children.

Waverly was startled by a hoarse voice. “You know, it’s not polite to stare,” Nicole whispered as she slowly opened her eyes to gaze at Waverly. Waverly beamed at the brown eyes staring back at her. She quickly leaned down to press her lips to the redhead’s nose.

“How did you even know I was staring? Your eyes never opened,” Waverly scrunched her eyebrows and studied Nicole’s face.

“I would tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” Nicole said teasingly as she wrapped her arm even further around Waverly’s waist. She snuggled her head into Waverly’s neck and the shorter girl shivered as she felt the warm breath of her lover gliding softly over her bare chest.

“Good morning baby,” Waverly said sweetly as she untangled Nicole’s arm from around her waist. Nicole looked up with a frown. “Oh, relax. I just wanted a good morning kiss.” She leaned down ready to place her lips against Nicole’s when the redhead pulled away. It was Waverly’s turn to frown.

“ _Oh, relax_ ,” Nicole mocked with a chuckle. “It seems we have a visitor.” Nicole shifted her eyes towards the door with a smile. Waverly followed her gaze and saw tiny fingers wrapped around the edges of the door. They quickly made sure the covers were pulled over their naked bodies before seeing a pair of bright blue eyes staring back at them. Once the little boy saw the two women were awake he slammed the door open. It hit hard against the wall and Waverly let out a sigh. He looked between his mothers with an excited smile before seeing the soft glare on Nicole’s face.

He looked down at the ground sheepishly mumbling, “Oopsies.” He chanced a glance back at his younger mother and saw her staring at him with a warm smile. He quickly ran over to the bed.

“Mommies!” He shouted as he climbed up the bed and made himself comfy between his mothers. They looked at him warmly before looking at each other.

“Hi sweetheart,” Nicole sang leaning down to kiss his cheek.

He quickly used his hand to wipe away the sloppy kiss. “Mommy, gross!” The two women laughed at his reaction.

“Hi baby,” Waverly beamed at him. She wrapped one arm around him, using the other to hold the blanket to her chest.

“I’m not a baby, Mama,” he said grumpily. He crossed his arms and pouted his lips. He looked up at Waverly with his famous puppy-dog eyes before saying, “You said I’m your little man.”

Waverly and Nicole looked at each other both biting their lips to hold back a laugh. “Of course, Jamie.” Waverly assured him. “What are you doing up so early?” Waverly quickly ruffled his auburn hair and he stuck his tongue out playfully.

“Mama! You know what day is today,” he said pointing at his other mother like she should obviously know the answer. “It’s mommy’s day!” He turned to Nicole and tackled her on the bed in a hug. Nicole wrapped her arms around him and peppered kisses all over his face. Waverly started to tickle him as Nicole finished her kisses. This was a routine every Friday. He would come running in the room to wake them up, usually jumping on them and screaming excitedly that it was mommy’s day. “Mommy’s day” had been happening for a few seasons now and he never got tired of it.

One of Nicole’s passions was softball. After they adopted Jamie, Nicole decided to join Purgatory’s softball league. Once Jamie was old enough, they were always outside practicing together. After he went to his first game, he made it a point to always be there to support his mom. Every “mommy’s day” Jamie was in the stands rooting for Nicole with Waverly and his big brother. Nicole was his idol.

Nicole looked at her wife and son as they kept tickling each other and knew that win or lose, Friday’s were always a great day. “Mommy…” her son choked out between laughs, “help.” His loud giggles echoed throughout the room as Waverly kept working her slender fingers against his stomach.

“Say it,” Waverly said laughing, “Say that I am the best mommy.” Waverly looked at Nicole as she said this and burst out laughing at the offended look on Nicole’s face. She stopped tickling her son and wiped at her eyes which were now damp from laughing.

“Never!” Jamie screamed and looked at Nicole who was wearing a proud smile on her face. “Mommy let’s get her!” Both Nicole and Jamie pounced on Waverly and began their tickle attack.

“What is happening in here?” A voice said from the doorway. Waverly looked at the door with a relieved smile. Turning to her two attackers she gave a smug smile. “Oh, now you are really going to get it,” Waverly said as she gave her oldest son a wink. He smirked back at her and ran over to the bed wrapping his arms around his younger brother. He picked up Jamie and wrapped him in a bear hug as the boy kept giggling.

“Henry!” He screamed as he tried and failed to wiggle out of his brother’s strong arms. Waverly and Nicole looked at them with love in their eyes. Nicole leaned in to finally give Waverly her ‘good morning kiss’. Nicole slowly pressed her lips against Waverly’s. The brunette wrapped her hand gently around Nicole’s neck and brought them even closer together. They both got so lost in what was supposed to be a quick kiss that they jumped after hearing, “EW!” from their younger son.

“Mommies are kissing!” He yelled while he reached to cover his eyes. The three older members of the family laughed and smiled at the four year old. Henry carefully put Jamie down on the bed before noticing his mother’s still clinging to their bed sheets. He scrunched his nose up in disgust, not wanting to imagine what they were doing last night and muttered, “gross.” He picked his little brother up once more and swung him over his shoulder. Jamie screeched in excitement. Henry headed to the door as he said, “Let’s leave Mom and Ma alone so they can get ready to make us a yummy breakfast,” he turned back to his mothers’ with a pointed look, “hopefully with their clothes on.” With that he turned and carried his brother out of the room and down the stairs leaving Nicole and Waverly looking at each other sheepishly. After a moment of silence, Waverly shrugged her shoulders before tackling Nicole into a hug.

“You’re going to get us in trouble,” Waverly said as she hugged Nicole tighter, “We keep falling asleep before we put our clothes back on.” She looked at Nicole pointedly as if saying this was her fault.

Nicole chuckled, “Hey! It’s not my fault we tire each other out. If you wake up naked you should feel honored.” She looked at Waverly with a cocky grin and earned an eye roll from the shorter woman.

“Just keep telling yourself that babe,” she said while patting her wife’s cheek playfully. Waverly got up from the bed and was almost to the master bath before turning around and saying, “Did you ever think that I close my eyes and try to fall asleep just so I don’t have to deal with you anymore?” It was the younger woman’s turn to smirk. Nicole narrowed her eyes at Waverly before jumping up and chasing after her. Waverly gasped not expecting her wife to get up and quickly made her way into the bathroom. She locked the door before the redhead could reach her.

“Oh, you are so gonna get it,” Nicole tried to grumble through the door, but she couldn’t hide her giggle. Waverly, who was still leaning against the other side of the door, chuckled and started her daily routine.

Nicole smiled to herself before getting dressed in her uniform. It’s been ages since it had been changed, but the tie was still a great look. She knocked on the bathroom door and waited. She heard the lock click on the door knob signaling that Waverly unlocked the door and she made her way into the bathroom. Noticing Waverly was now in a black lace bra and panties, she frowned. Waverly noticed, “Do I look that bad?” she asked, slightly offended. Nicole quickly smiled and shook her head.

“Of course not,” she wrapped her arms around Waverly and held her for a few moments before leaning into her ear. “I just like you better naked,” she husked. Waverly shivered involuntarily and sighed to herself knowing that Nicole noticed the reaction she had on her. She stepped out of Nicole’s arms and turned to look at her. Sure enough, the redhead was wearing the same cocky grin she was before.

“Shut up,” Waverly muttered and tried to finish getting ready. Nicole only chuckled before doing the same thing. Nicole was a lot quicker at getting ready for the day than Waverly, so she softly kissed her wife’s cheek and made her way out of the bathroom.

“I’ll start breakfast,” Nicole said as she left. She paused outside the door knowing that what she said would get a reaction out of her wife.

“Don’t you dare, I don’t want our house set on fire. You _know_ the only thing you are allowed to make is cereal.” Waverly had been shocked to learn, after a few months of dating, that Nicole was a horrible cook. She gave Wynonna a run for her money. Waverly tried to give her lessons, but the food always seemed to end up in flames. Waverly let out a laugh as she remembered the ‘Stir fry debacle of 2018’.

Nicole heard her laughing through the door and smiled widely. She loved that woman. She leisurely made her way downstairs to join their sons.

Henry and Jamie were sitting on the couch in the living room watching cartoons. They were both dressed. Nicole assumed Henry helped his little brother because he wasn’t wearing one of the twenty superhero costumes he “puppy-dog eyed” Wynonna into getting him. Nicole smiled at them, Henry had his arm wrapped around the little boy and Jamie was curled into his side. They were inseparable. Waverly always said this was how she wanted her childhood with Wynonna to be and Nicole was glad they could give their kids this. Nicole stayed like that for a few minutes watching her boys talk about which superhero would win in a fight before she felt a pair of slender arms around her waist. She leaned into Waverly, never taking her eyes away from their boys.

“How did I get so lucky?” Waverly said in awe of her family. Nicole turned in her arms and smiled, “You three are the best thing to ever happen to me, I am the lucky one.”

Waverly pulled away and smiled, “Watch out, my love. If Wynonna hears us talking like this, it will give her plenty more ammo to use against us.” Nicole chuckled softly knowing that Waverly was right. Wynonna never ceased to tease them about their cheesiness.

Nicole grabbed Waverly’s hand and led them to the kitchen, so Waverly could start breakfast.

The family of four sat around the table eating their food. The conversation flowed easily between the four and was full of laughs and teasing. Before long, it was time to start the day. Henry and Nicole always left before the other two. Henry got his school bag ready while Nicole went to their safe and grabbed her gun and badge. She didn’t leave it lying around the house anymore, especially with the children around.  She reached in the closet grabbing her jacket before putting it on over her shoulders. Waverly and Jamie had followed them to the door telling them to have a great day. Jamie and Henry always did their secret handshake which consisted of a bunch of hand movements that always seemed to be changing. During that time Waverly said her own small goodbye to her wife.

She pulled her in teasingly by her tie before straightening it. After over a decade, it never failed to make the redhead blush. “I love you, I’ll see you when I get to the station?” Waverly asked hopefully.

“Of course,” Nicole reassured. “I’m assuming you’ll get there before Wynonna like usual, then we can, oh, I don’t know,” Nicole looked around the room with a smirk before returning her gaze to Waverly, “have a private meeting in my office?”

Waverly looked at their boys making sure they weren’t paying attention before gripping her hand around Nicole’s tie tighter and pulling the redhead’s face down so that they were at eye level, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” she said quickly before giving Nicole a passionate kiss.

They broke apart shortly after by a throat clearing. They looked over at their sons and saw them both with disgusted looks on their faces though it was clear they were fighting smiles. Waverly moved to kiss Henry on the forehead before saying goodbye to the pair. She took Jamie’s hand and they made their way back inside.

Nicole stepped outside her home in Purgatory’s suburbia before winking at her son. Now that Henry could drive he always wanted to. Nicole chased him to the driver’s side door and they both kept pushing each other out of the way as they fought for the door handle. Henry gave one last shove before he reached the door. “HA! I win,” he shouted. He stuck his tongue out at Nicole before getting into the driver’s seat. Nicole rolled her eyes before dragging herself to the passenger side. Since she didn’t have her patrol car with her at home, they took her regular car which was a small, beat up Subaru that she had, had for years. Frankly, it was the only car she _would_ let him drive.

“Be lucky I let you drive my precious Subaru, this thing was and always will be a chick magnet,” she huffed as she crossed her arms. Henry looked over at her as he started the car.

“Aunt Wyn was right about you,” he chuckled as he pulled out of the driveway.

Nicole looked at her son with narrowed eyes, “And what does that mean?” Henry pulled up to the light at the end of the street before turning to his mother.

“Oh, you know, something about a puppy who thinks they are the embodiment of ‘Ms. Steal-Your-Girl,” Henry laughed as he looked at his mother who was quite frankly pouting in her seat. “I think she also mentioned a ‘wannabe lady killer’ whose heart-eyes haven’t moved from Ma since the moment you met.” Nicole huffed with an eyeroll as the light turned green.

“Henry, I have ga- Henry watch out!” He heard his mother scream before seeing the truck coming straight towards them. He didn’t have time to move before the truck slammed into his mother’s side of the car knocking them both unconscious.

* * *

 

Waverly and Jamie just made their way inside before she picked up her son while singing and dancing with him. She loved to hear him sing with his adorable, squeaky voice. His tiny hands cupped her cheeks as they spun around the room. They swayed back and forth while they sang his favorite: the “Sunshine” song.

_“You are my sunshine,_

_My only sunshine,_

_You make me happy when skies are gray_

_You’ll never know dear,_

_How much I love you_

_Please don’t take my sunshine away.”_

They continued dancing around the living room, arms wrapped around each other before they heard a loud crash. Waverly’s blood ran cold and she felt her heart start racing.

“Mama, what was that?” Jamie whispered. Waverly set him down on the ground and bent down to his level. She brought her shaking hands up to cup his cheeks. “I don’t know sweetheart, I’m going to go check, why don’t you go watch the rest of your cartoon while Mama goes outside?” He smiled up at her and nodded while running into the living room.

Waverly took a deep breath and turned to walk out the door. She couldn’t see anything from the porch so she walked towards the sidewalk. What she saw next made her heart stop. She felt the tears well in her eyes as she saw a truck smashed into the side of Nicole’s Subaru. She took off in a sprint towards the end of the street before stopping in front of the collision. She saw the bloodied faces of Nicole and Henry before the tears started falling.  


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me *chuckles nervously*
> 
> This chapter is heavy angst so strap in and grab those tissues! It will get better though, I promise :)

Waverly was frozen in front of the collision looking at the bloodied faces of her family. Her eyes kept shifting between them and the point of impact. Suddenly, she heard a sharp intake of breath and her eyes shot towards the driver’s seat. She saw Henry start to flutter his eyes open and she made a mad dash for his door. She knew that if she were to get either one of them out, it would have to be from the driver’s side. She stuck her head in the shattered window and quickly assessed her son. His eyes were struggling to stay open. “Mom…” he muttered quietly. If she weren’t leaning over him, she wouldn’t have heard it.

“Hi sweetheart, I’m right here, okay? Try not to move, I don’t know if you’re hurt.” She slowly opened his door and he slumped in her arms. She quickly wrapped her arms around him, catching him before he hit the ground. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.” She kept chanting to him as she tried to get him out of the car. She kept glancing over at her wife and she shouted, “Nicole! You need to open your eyes baby, open them for me, please!” Her wife never moved. “Help!” Waverly screamed, hoping someone would come out of their house. “Please, someone call an ambulance,” she shouted, her voice cracking at the end as she tried to hold in her sobs. She forced her eyes away from her wife and turned to focus on her son.

She slowly got Henry to the ground and set him gently next to the car. He wasn’t as little as he used to be and she was struggling by herself. “Mom…” he muttered again. “I’m sorry.” Her eyes became foggy with the tears she was trying to keep at bay.

She tried to shush him, knowing immediately the thoughts that were swirling through his brain. “Sweetheart, this was not your fault, I need to check on your mom, okay? Does anything hurt?” Her eyes scanned his whole body and except for a cut on his face, where she assumed his head collided with the window, he seemed to be okay. “I’m fine, just my head and my arm,” when he said that Waverly looked down and saw him holding his arm in place. “She tried to shove me out of the way.” Waverly closed her eyes as she thought of how scary it must have been for her son. She brought her hand up to his cheek and gave him a sad smile before turning to go back to the car.

She quickly called back to him, “Hen, I need you to keep your eyes open for me, okay?”

She heard him mumble in agreement before focusing back on her wife.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw another SUV speeding towards the intersection. “Dolls!” Waverly screamed, recognizing his vehicle. She jumped out of the car, waving her arms back and forth. _He must be on his way to work_ , Waverly thought. His tires screeched to a halt besides the collision and he jumped out of his SUV. “What happened?” He didn’t even wait for an answer before getting his cellphone out and calling for an ambulance. Waverly took that time to get back in the car and looked at Nicole. She brought her hand up to the redhead’s face.

“It’s okay, darling. I’m right here. You are going to be just fine” Waverly didn’t know who she was trying to reassure, Nicole or herself. She unhooked her wife’s seatbelt and Nicole fell against her chest. Waverly fought back the wave of nausea at the pale color of her wife’s face. She nervously put her fingers to Nicole’s neck checking for a pulse.

The brunette closed her eyes in relief when she felt a faint drumming against her finger tips. “She’s alive,” Waverly screamed to Dolls. She held Nicole lightly to her hoping not to injure her further. She stroked her fingers through Nicole’s hair trying to calm herself down. She felt a wet substance on the side of Nicole’s head and brought her fingers up into her line of sight, they were covered in blood. “Oh, God,” she muttered. She looked over the rest of Nicole and noticed a part of the door was sticking out of her side right below her breast. “Dolls” she shrieked, “We need to get her out of here now!”

Dolls was in the process of checking on the driver from the other vehicle when he heard Waverly scream. He checked to see if the man driving was still alive, but he couldn’t find a pulse. He decided to focus on his family and ran back to the driver’s side of the Subaru. “The ambulance is on its way, is she awake?” He didn’t need to hear an answer, the look on Waverly’s face was enough. He turned back to Henry on the ground who was still clutching his arm.

“You okay, bud?” he asked, leaning down trying to assess his nephew. Henry could only nod, never taking his eyes away from his mothers.

“Dolls, I need you to call Doc or Wynonna or Jeremy. Jamie is still watching cartoons in the house, we can’t let him see this.” Dolls nodded, he couldn’t imagine what his godson would do if he saw his family like this. He quickly reached for his phone to call Wynonna. He gave her the minimum details necessary knowing that if he said more he would never get off the phone. He hung up just as two ambulances were racing to the scene. Dolls moved next to Henry helping him up off the ground so that the paramedics could get to Nicole right away.

A blonde paramedic jumped out of the vehicle as it skidded to a halt in front of Nicole’s car. She ran to the driver’s side door and tried to get to Nicole, but Waverly wouldn’t budge. “I’m not leaving her.” Waverly held Nicole a little tighter hoping she would wake up and tell her that everything was okay. “Mrs. Haught, I can’t help her if you won’t let her go.” Waverly just squeezed tighter, she felt that if she let go she would lose Nicole forever. She placed a shaky kiss to the top of her wife’s head before exiting the vehicle.

She turned and saw her son with tears streaming down his face. He reached for her and they clung to each other. Their gazes never faltered from the unconscious member of their family. Waverly couldn’t believe this was happening. She couldn’t lose Nicole; the redhead was her world. She felt the life slowly being drained out of her the longer Nicole remained unresponsive.

Everything happened so fast. Firefighters soon arrived at the scene using the jaws-of-life to remove Nicole from the car. The paramedics moved quickly, putting pressure on the bloodied wounds and placing her neck in a brace so that she didn’t move. They strapped her down to a board before putting her in the back of an ambulance. Waverly noticed that part of the door was still stuck into Nicole’s side and she shuttered. As the ambulance was getting ready to leave, Waverly and Henry both tried to squeeze in with the blonde paramedic, but they weren’t allowed. Nicole’s status was too critical. Rather than argue and waste time, Henry and Waverly hopped in the second ambulance thinking it was better if they stayed out of the way. Dolls decided to say back to wait with Jamie until Wynonna showed up.

Both ambulances took off with their sirens blaring.

The paramedic tried to treat Henry’s wound, but he wouldn’t let them. He stayed seated stiffly next to his mother firmly clasping her hand. Waverly sighed as she stared at his arm. “You know you are just as stubborn as she is, right? Let them help you,” Waverly said, nudging his good arm. He looked at his younger mother and smiled softly, but it didn’t reach his eyes. The smile was quickly wiped from his face when he realized that this was no time to be joking around. Waverly noticed. “This is not your fault.” She tried to get him to look at her, but he wouldn’t budge. They remained silent the rest of the way.

Once at the hospital, Nicole was immediately surrounded by nurses and doctors as they brought her into a room inside the ER to stabilize her before taking her to surgery. Waverly kept pleading with them to help her before she was yelled at to give them space to work. However. her feet wouldn’t move. She couldn’t take her eyes off her unconscious wife laying on the stretcher. She needed to do something, she needed to help her. Henry finally grabbed her hand and brought her out of the room. She saw a doctor on his way into Nicole’s room and quickly ran to him, grabbing his arm to get his attention. “Please save her,” Waverly pleaded, her emotions finally starting to catch up with her. The doctor put a hand on her arm and squeezed.

“I will do everything I can, go wait in the waiting room and I will see you shortly, okay?” He looked at her with nothing, but sympathy.

All of a sudden, all hell broke loose.

A nurse ran out of the room calling Code Blue. He gave Waverly a look that he hoped was reassuring and turned to run to Nicole. Waverly took off towards the door to Nicole’s room, but before she could, Henry wrapped his good arm around her waist and held her back. “NO! I need her!” She was trying to break free of his grasp, but he wouldn’t let go. Henry only held on tighter. “Nicole!” Waverly shouted.

“Mom, please,” Henry sobbed from behind her. His arm throbbed from being thrashed around, but Waverly couldn’t hear him. She kept screaming Nicole’s name from her place inside his arms. Henry finally turned her around, so she couldn’t look in the room.

“P-Please,” she choked out. “Please, don’t leave me.” Waverly felt her legs collapse beneath her and finally let the tears fall. “I can’t lose her,” she gasped between tears. “I…I can’t.”

Henry wrapped his arms around her as she continued to sob. Henry’s heart clenched as he watched his mother fall apart in his arms. They were on the ground crying, hanging on by a thread. They both looked up when they heard wheels sliding against the linoleum floor. The doctor Waverly had spoken to was straddling Nicole’s waist giving her chest compressions as the nurses ran the hospital bed into what Waverly assumed was an operating room. Waverly felt a violent sob rip through her as she held tightly to her son. They stayed like that for at least ten minutes as Waverly’s sobs subsided. She clawed at Henry, holding him even tighter in her arms when she felt him wince against her. She suddenly looked up as fresh tears started to pour down her face.

“Henry, I am so sorry. We need to get you checked out.” She quickly stood up and pulled his good arm with her. She tried to drag him to the front of the emergency room, but he wouldn’t budge.

“Mom, take a deep breath.”

He looked into her eyes and she saw how strong he was trying to be for her. He was too much like Nicole for his own good. She nodded gratefully and took a deep breath. After she was done, she gently lifted her hand to cup his cheek before kissing his forehead.

“How did I get so lucky to have a son like you?” She whispered to him. She grabbed his hand and led him back towards the front of the emergency room.

* * *

 

The nurse had finished cleaning and bandaging Henry’s head wound before wheeling him down to the radiology center. Waverly was with Henry every step of the way, but she kept sticking her head out of the door to check for the doctor she saw with Nicole. When Henry was taken to get x-rays, Waverly made her way to the waiting room. When she got there she saw Dolls, Wynonna and Doc waiting for her. Doc had his arm around Wynonna as she wiped aggressively at her eyes. When Wynonna had gotten to Waverly and Nicole’s, Dolls explained everything that had happened. She left immediately, telling Dolls to call Jeremy. No matter their differences, Nicole was her best friend. She needed to be at the hospital with her sister.

Dolls was the first to see Waverly in the waiting room. “Don’t worry, Jamie is with Jeremy,” he reassured immediately. She nodded slowly and locked eyes with her sister. They stood there staring at each other for a solid minute, both trying to cling to a semblance of calm that neither of them had.

They reached for each other simultaneously as matching sobs ripped from their throats. They stood their clinging to one another, their sobs drowning out the quiet of the waiting room. “I’m so sorry, baby girl,” Wynonna whispered hoarsely. Waverly didn’t know how many more tears she had left. She felt the numbness quickly taking over her.

They stayed wrapped in each other’s arms for a few minutes. Doc and Dolls both took a seat after sharing a nod. They came to a silent agreement that no matter what happened next, they would be there for their family.

Wynonna and Waverly broke their hug and sat down across from the two men. They all sat in silence, each fighting back the tears at the loss they could be facing. Nicole was special to each of them in her own way.

Henry came back to the waiting area after an hour with a doctor. She explained that Henry had broken his arm in two places and he also had a concussion. She explained that he needed to be monitored for the time being, but with the help of rest and pain meds he would be okay. He was lucky.

Henry was now wearing a light blue cast over his forearm. He sat down next to his mom and she immediately grabbed for his good hand. He was like an anchor keeping her grounded. Henry was the closest attachment she had to her wife right now. He looked down at his mom and pointed to his cast, “it’s Jamie’s favorite color.” She gave him a small smile before a wave of nausea hit her at the knowledge that she had to explain all of this to her younger son.

“How am I supposed to explain this to Jamie?” Waverly said as she stood up. She looked at her sister pleadingly, hoping for answers. “What if Nicole doesn’t make it? How am I supposed to tell him he lost his mother? How am I supposed to tell him she is gone?” Waverly kept raising her voice with every question, she felt a fresh set of tears coming down her face. She raised her hand to wipe the tears away and noticed that Nicole’s dry blood was still coating her fingers. She quickly got up and ran. Wynonna was yelling her name to come back, but Waverly didn’t notice. She ran straight to the bathroom, hurling her breakfast into the toilet.

Once she was done, she looked at herself in the mirror. The word _awful_ didn’t even begin to cover it. Her clothes had splotches of deep red and her tears welled knowing that it was Nicole’s. She jumped when she felt a hand on her arm and turned to lock eyes with Wynonna. Wynonna turned on the sink faucet and moved Waverly’s hands under the water. Waverly just stood there staring at her clothes in the mirror. She felt numb, she felt like a vital part of herself was missing.

Wynonna put soap on her hands and gently moved them over Waverly’s trying to get all traces of blood off. “She is going to pull through this, baby girl. She is a fighter.”

“Yeah,” Waverly said, numbly.

Once Wynonna felt she got the job done, she turned off the sink and brought Waverly over to the paper towels. Wynonna had never seen Waverly like this, not even when Nicole was poisoned.

As if reading her thoughts, Waverly answered. “This isn’t like last time, Wyn. There is no antidote. There is no cure. My wife could die on that table and there is absolutely nothing I can do to save her.”

Wynonna closed her eyes and shook her head as if protecting herself from that thought. She didn’t know what would happen if her best friend didn’t make it.

Once Waverly’s hands were clean, Wynonna brought her hand up to Waverly’s chin and slowly lifted her head so that her sister would look at her.

“I talked to Dolls, he said he was going to go and get you and Henry a change of clothes. I told him to bring you something comfy, not the tight ass shit you manage to squeeze yourself into.”

Waverly gave her a small smile, she appreciated her sister’s attempts to cheer her up.

“She will be okay, Waves. She is Nicole, she is tough as hell. When has she ever been able to stay away from you?” Waverly’s smile was even bigger after that, Wynonna noticed that it didn’t reach her eyes though. She knew that until Nicole was awake, Waverly wouldn’t be smiling very much.

Wynonna grabbed Waverly’s, now clean, hand and led them back to the waiting room.

* * *

 

The hours had slowly ticked by waiting to hear about Nicole’s condition. Dolls had returned after a half hour leading Waverly and Henry to get changed. Waverly was now wearing a pair of yoga pants and, thanks to Dolls’ smart thinking, one of Nicole’s shirts. They noticed that every so often she would raise her sleeve up and press it against her nose. Nobody had the heart to mention it; whatever comfort the smell of Nicole brought her, they let her soak in it. The five of them sat in the waiting room in silence. Every time someone would walk by everyone’s attention went to the door before slumping back in their seats.

Henry had moved to sit next to his namesake, his favorite Uncle Doc, but even the mustached man couldn’t bring a smile to his godson’s face. Henry blamed himself, he knew that if he let his mother drive, this wouldn’t have happened. If his mother died, this would be his fault. He watched the heart break on his younger mother’s face and closed his eyes when her tears became too much handle. He needed to be strong for his family. He needed to protect them. Sensing his inner torment, his brunette mother locked eyes with him. He fought the urge to look away, ashamed. If his lower lip wobbled uncontrollably when she whispered “I love you” to him, well, who could blame him?

* * *

 

Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, the doctor walked into the waiting room. Five sets of eyes met his and they all jumped out of their chairs asking their questions all at once.

“How is she?”

“Where is my mom?”

“Is she okay?”

“Please, don’t just stand there! Say Something!”

The only one who didn’t say anything, he noticed, was Waverly. He studied her and saw her clutching her son’s hand in hers.

“There were a lot of complications with the surgery. Before we even got her into surgery her heart stopped beating. We were able to bring her back, but she had went into another cardiac arrest during the procedure.” He looked up and was met with five sets of teary eyes. He saw Waverly close her eyes briefly like she was trying to hold it all together and when she opened them he felt it was time he continued.

“She had lost a lot of blood. The car door pierced her lung and we had to go in and stitch it up. We finally got the bleeding to stop and we gave her a blood transfusion. Along with a broken leg and a few broken ribs, Nicole’s head was badly injured. As of now, Nicole’s condition is critical. We have her placed in ICU to keep a close eye on her and make sure her vitals remain where they should be. Nicole has a severe head trauma, her brain had started to swell and right now we need to keep her in a coma to make sure that her brain heals properly. You need to be aware that this is a medically-induced coma, when we believe she is ready, we can ween her off the drugs and she can wake up if and when she is ready. As far as any side effects of the accident goes and considering the head trauma, well I can’t be cer-,” He was cut off by Wynonna.

“What do you mean you can’t be certain? Will she be okay or not?” Five pairs of eyes turned to Wynonna as her anger flared. So far she hadn’t heard a lot of good news and knowing that her best friend had physically died twice wasn’t helping to calm her either. She felt two hands on either side of her and looked to see Dolls and Doc staring at her with understanding. She looked at her sister who was barely holding it together, before taking a deep breath and trying to calm herself. When she was satisfied she cleared her throat and tried again, “What can’t you be certain about?”

The doctor looked at Wynonna hesitantly before continuing. “I’m saying that because of her head trauma she could have some lasting damage, but we can’t know anything for certain until she wakes up.” He looked between Waverly and Henry with sorrowful eyes as he amended his statement, “If she wakes up.” His heart clenched watching the mother and son lean onto each other for support as if they were physically incapable of holding themselves up on their own. “Right now, she is in Room 6 in the ICU. I would prefer if only two people visit with her at a time. If you have any other questions, please just ask for Dr. Westley.” He looked at all five members of the family, wondering if they had questions. Hearing no comments, he gave them a sympathetic nod and left the waiting room. The five people remaining all watched him go.

So many emotions ran through their faces, the main two being fear and relief. Fear of what was to come and relief that Nicole was still with them. Dolls, Doc and Wynonna all shared an embrace. Henry looked at his mom, she had remained quiet throughout all of Dr. Westley’s speech and he didn’t know what was going through her head. She turned to look at him with tears pouring out of her eyes. Waverly softly squeezed his hand before quietly apologizing and running from the room. She missed the sad look in Henry’s eyes and didn’t listen to the people shouting for her to come back, she just ran.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for enjoying this fic! 
> 
> I know I told some of you in the comments that this chapter would be a major one to explain the plot, however, this chapter totally got away from me and ended up being longer than I thought. So Chapter 4 will have those explanations I have been hinting about in the comments. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

“Waverly!” Wynonna screamed as she watched her sister run from the room. “Where the hell is she going?” She moved to follow her sister, when she felt a hand on her shoulder holding her back. She turned around quickly to lock eyes with Doc.

He gently removed his hat and held it to his heart. “Darling, I think it would be best if I spoke with her. I know a thing or two about running.” Wynonna searched his eyes for a moment, but she wasn’t sure what she was looking for. She saw his honest blue eyes staring back at her with nothing but concern and quickly nodded her head.

“Go,” she whispered. “She probably already left the building.”

“No need to worry. I know where she is headed.” He gave a nod to both Wynonna and Dolls before clapping a hand on Henry’s shoulder. He looked into Henry’s sad eyes “Lad, you are as strong for your mother as I was for mine. Sheriff Haught would be proud.”

He could feel the small sign of Henry buffing up his chest in pride and he smiled at him. He touched his forehead to Henry’s lightly before leaving the room and heading for Waverly.

Wynonna looked at her nephew with sympathy. She wrapped her arm around his shoulders before leading him into the hall. “Come on, kid. Let’s go find that pain-in-the-ass redhead that we love so much.”

She smiled to herself when she heard him let out a chuckle.

* * *

 

Waverly didn’t know why she ran. Everything was just getting to be too much. This morning everything was perfect. She was supposed to be at the softball game right now cheering on her wife. She was supposed to be in the stands with her arms wrapped around her children.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not to her, not to them. They had been through enough. This was too much for her to take. She remained unseeing, staring into nothing. She was numb. It was as if her whole self was asleep and the only thing that could awaken her was Nicole.

She needed Nicole to wake up and tell her that everything was going to be okay, she need Nicole to –

“I thought I might find you here,” the voice said startling Waverly out of her thoughts.

“How _did_ you find me?” She asked without looking at him.

Doc took off his hat as he made his way inside the room. “Mind if I join you?”

Waverly could only nod. She shifted on the couch to give him room to sit. They both remained quiet. Doc let his eyes scan over the décor of the Sheriff’s office. It was a lot different since Nicole took over. There were pictures of Nicole and Waverly with their kids, pictures of the whole gang. Nicole’s Stetson was hanging on the coat hanger in the corner.

He looked back at Waverly on the couch and noticed the far away look in her eye. “Waverly…” he tried.

“How did you find me?” She asked again.

“This is where it all began, is it not? And excuse me for being crass, but I believe you meet here every morning as well.” He smiled at the blush creeping on her face. “I may be a fool in my old, old age,” Doc said with a chuckle, “but this was where you were to meet her this morning. This is a major place for the both of you.”

“Yeah, it is,” Waverly said with a sigh remembering the countless conversations they shared here. “I ran, Doc. I could be with her right now, but I ran. I couldn’t – I just couldn’t do it.” She closed her eyes tightly as fresh tears began to pour down her face.

He sighed before wrapping his arm around her. “There is nothing wrong with running. Sometimes it is the only option we have, the only thing we think we can do. I am no stranger to running, but we need other people to hold us here, keep us in place. If I remember correctly, you did that for me a time or two.”

“I don’t want to be a runner,” Waverly said. She needed to be strong for her family. Nicole was always the protector, the rock of the family. Waverly knew that she needed to step up.

“It is okay, Waverly.” Doc tried to console her, to reassure her that even though she ran, it didn’t mean she was a bad person.

“No,” she shook her head roughly. “I should be with my family. I need to be with my sons.”

“You do,” he agreed. “They need you, Waverly. However, do not forget to worry about you.”

“Everything is just happening so fast, you know? I just lost it. I just need this all to stop so I could process.”

“Believe me, darling. No one faults you for running. Sheriff Haught means the world to us all.”

“I need to go see Jamie, can – I mean would you like to go with me?” She looked at Doc unsure if he would say yes, though she need not worry. He gave her a soft smile and helped her up.

* * *

 

Wynonna pulled Henry back the moment he went to enter Nicole’s room. She wasn’t good at this. She didn’t know how to warn him that this was going to be difficult to see.

“Henry, your mom,” Wynonna began, “I just want you to be prepared, okay? It’s not going to be pretty, kid.”

She watched as he clenched his jaw nervously before nodding and slowly opening the door. What he saw made his heart stop, whatever he had expected, it was so much worse. His mother looked awful. She had bandages all over her body, some of them had spots of blood seeping through. Her leg was in a cast and he noticed that her chest was wrapped heavily as well. He assumed it was because of the piece of car that was impaling her.

He heard sniffling from behind him and when he turned around Wynonna was facing the door, her back towards him.

“Are you okay?” He asked her. He wasn’t used to seeing his aunt so upset.

She shook her head quickly. “Kid,” she choked out before clearing her throat. “You need to stop worrying about everyone else. Are you okay?”

“I have to be,” he said resolutely. He turned back to his mother, moving to her side to clasp her hand. He missed the way Wynonna’s eyes widened in alarm at his remark.

“What do you mean you ‘have to be’?” She honestly didn’t know if she was ready to hear the answer.

He looked up at her with tears in his eyes, “I mean that this is my fault, I was driving. I don’t have a right to be upset.”

Wynonna closed her eyes as she shook her head. She knew he felt bad, but she didn’t realize that it was this bad. “Can I ask you something?”

He looked at her skeptically before nodding.

“Did you want your mom to get hit? Did you do this to her on purpose?”

Henry looked affronted and immediately became defensive. “Of course not, I love my mom. I would never do anything to hurt her!”

Wynonna nodded. “That’s what I thought.” She moved around to Nicole’s other side, mindful of the machines keeping the redhead comfortable. Henry followed her every move. “And if my sister was driving would you blame her for letting your mom get hurt?”

“No, it wouldn’t be her fau- oh.” Henry said sheepishly. “Neat trick.”

“It wasn’t a trick, you didn’t cause the accident, Henry. No one blames you.”

“I blame me,” Henry mumbles. “How could I not?” He knew that he wasn’t being fair to himself, he knew that the other driver ran a red light, but it didn’t stop his thoughts from spiraling.

Wynonna smiled sadly at him before walking to his side and sitting down in one of the chairs on the side of the room. She patted the seat next to her, but Henry wouldn’t budge from the side of his mom. She gave him a look and patted the seat again.

Finally, after an eye roll and a huff, he took the seat next to her.

“Let me guess, you are going through a million different scenarios in your head imagining all the ways your mother could be completely fine right about now?”

A nod.

“And every time you look at my sister you blame yourself a little more?”

A nod.

She smirked to herself, “and now you are wondering how I know all of this?”

A nod.

She laughed as she nudged his shoulder. “Henry, I am the Tina Turner of blaming myself.”

“The who?” Henry asked with a scrunched nose.

“You know Celine Dion?

“Nope.”

“Whitney Houston?”

“Nope.”

“Prince?”

“Prince who?”

“HENRY!” Wynonna screamed, appalled. She heard a shushing sound from outside the door before shushing them back, mockingly. “This generation seriously, what are your mother’s teaching you?”

She was awarded with a smile and that made everything worth it.

“My _point_ ,” she exaggerated the word, “is that I’m the queen,” her eyes widened, “Do you know Queen?”

“The Queen of where?” Henry asked.

Wynonna rolled her eyes and sighed. “Nevermind, this could take all night with you. Remind me to kidnap you one of these days to give you an education in iconic music.”

“Aunt Wyn,” Henry sighed. He didn’t know what the point of all of this was.

“Right, right. Well I am aware of what it feels like to blame yourself, okay? I don’t know if your mother’s have mentioned this, but I shot and killed my father.”

Henry stared at her with wide eyes and a gaping mouth.

“No, they left that out?” Wynonna nodded to herself and sucked in her lips, “Okay, let’s just blow past it, pretend it isn’t even there.” She waved at the air trying to push it away.

He was still looking at her with wide eyes, “I don’t –,” he began before a finger was pressed quickly to his lips.

“Shh,” Wynonna pressed on. “I know what it’s like, so if you need to talk or you are still feeling like you blame yourself you come find me, okay?”

He nodded against her finger and she smiled to herself. She was obviously excellent at this kid thing.

They both sat back in their chairs studying Nicole in front of them.

“If your mother was sitting here next to me and it was you in that hospital bed do you think she would be blaming herself?” Wynonna asked. She knew the answer and she knew that he did too.

“Most definitely. She wants nothing more than to protect us.” Wynonna watched as he wrung his hands together anxiously. She gripped his arm, the one without the cast, and slid her hand down so she was clasping his.

“And if you were laying in that hospital bed what would you want to say to her?”

Henry was quiet for a long moment as he studied the unconscious form of his mother. What would he say to her?

“I – I suppose I would say that she shouldn’t blame herself. That there was nothing she could have done to stop this from happening.” He paused to fight the tears that were building in his eyes. “I would be glad - I would be glad that she was safe.”

She felt him squeeze her hand tighter before she asked, “what else?” She needed him to go through this. She needed him to realize that it was okay to feel. She spent so long drinking to feel numb and she didn’t want her nephew to go through the same thing. That would not happen on her watch.

He finally let the tears falls as he choked out, “I – I would tell her that it’s okay to not be o-okay.”

Wynonna gave him a proud smile as she felt the tears coming to her eyes. She pulled him into a hug and they continued to hold each other, both accepting that neither of them were okay.

* * *

 

Waverly stood next to Doc as she knocked on her front door. She left the house earlier without so much as taking her keys. She waited a beat before the door was opened by Jeremy. He looked at her sadly before immediately pulling her in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Waverly,” he whispered. “I’ll look after the kid so you can go back to the hospital.”

All she could do was nod, her tears overtaking her once more. She only hoped that the tight squeeze of the hug she gave him showed him her thanks. When she was ready to pull back from the hug she felt a small body collide with her legs.

She took in a deep breath preparing herself for what she was about to do.

She stepped back from Jeremy and smiled brightly at her son.

“Hi, baby,” Waverly said as she picked him up. She held him tightly in her arms, cursing the tears that were falling down her face.

“Mama, why are you crying?” Jamie asked as she lowered him to the ground. She took his hand and led him into the living room.

“I’m just so happy to see you, bud. Come sit with me for a second.” She looked at Jeremy and Doc and they got the message. They knew she needed to do this alone. They motioned towards the kitchen and she nodded her head in acknowledgment.

She didn’t know where to begin. She didn’t know how to explain to a child what was happening in a way that would save him from the pain they were all experiencing. If she could save at least one person from this mess, she would do it.

She leaned over to Jamie and moved him into her lap so that he was facing her. He giggled gently at the way the ends of Waverly’s hair tickled his arms.

Suddenly, as if reading her thoughts Jamie asked, “where is mommy?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, sweetheart.”

“Mama, we have to go soon! It’s mommy’s day,” he moved to get off her lap in excitement, but she held him in place.

“Jamie, honey, I need to talk to you about Mommy.”

He looked at her, sensing something important and nodded.

“Mommy had a bit off an accident earlier today and she has some boo-boos,” Waverly tried.

His eyes lit up, “like Mr. Bear?”

“Exactly like Mr. Bear,” Waverly nodded. Maybe this wouldn’t be as hard as she thought.

“That’s okay, I can fix her too,” he moved to get down, but Waverly wouldn’t let him go.

“Jamie, honey. You know how you are a special doctor? The only one who can fix Mr. Bear?”

He nodded in understanding.

“Well Mommy has a special doctor too and he is the only one who can fix her. So right now, she is with the special doctor until she gets better and then they will return her to us like brand new,” Waverly tried. She hoped that, that made even an ounce of sense to him. She hoped that she wasn’t lying to her son or to herself. She needed Nicole to be healed immediately.

“Mommy won’t be with us?” Jamie said with a frown.

Waverly shook her head. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Remember when you are sick and your tummy hurts, Mommy and I make sure you take lots of naps and take your medicine? Well Mommy is taking her naps right now, so we can’t disturb her. When she is feeling better we can go visit though, I promise. Does that sound like a plan?”

He nodded his head still frowning, “I miss Mommy.”

“I know, baby. I miss her too. Just think, when she gets better we can give her all the kisses that she is missing out on by being asleep.”

“Are you going to sleep with Mommy too?”

Waverly smiled at him. She needed to come up with a way to tell him she would be visiting Nicole without him and he just gave her one.  “I am going to sleep next to her during the day, that way I get to spend time with you when you get home. You are still going to daycare and if I sleep for longer than usual you might have to stay with Uncle Doc and Aunt Wyn.”

“Okay, Mama,” he whispered before a smile overcame his face. “Can you give her kisses from me?” He asked shyly before Waverly nodded. When she did he bounced up and down excitedly before grabbing her face and pressing a big, sloppy kiss to her cheek. “There! Now you can give it to her,” he smiled widely at Waverly. She couldn’t help, but to smile back at her son. No wonder he was so spoiled, who could say no to him?

“I love you, Jamie,” Waverly said as she snuggled her son closer to her.

“I love you too, Mama,” he whispered. He pulled out of her arms and quickly ran from the room shouting, “be right back!”

She shook her head as she watched his little legs fly. “No running up the stairs, little man.” Waverly called after him.

“Yes, Mama,” she heard muffled from the hall. She let out a sigh of relief. That had went better than she expected. Now all she could think about was seeing Nicole. She shouldn’t have ran earlier, but she needed this time to herself to come to terms with what had happened. She only hoped that Wynonna was looking after Henry.

She saw Doc and Jeremy looking at her from the doorway, both wearing sympathetic smiles.

“Are you doing alright?” Doc asked. She looked at him with an eyebrow raised, and he had the decency to look sheepish. She wasn’t doing “alright”, that seemed like a foreign concept to her right now.

“I need to see my wife,” she whispered. She heard tiny feet come barreling towards her before a stuffed teddy bear was placed in her lap. “What is Mr. Bear doing here?”

Jamie looked up at her with a dimpled smile, his blue eyes shining before he said, “Mr. Bear always makes me feel better, maybe he will make Mommy feel better too.”

Waverly’s heart clenched and she tried to fight the tears that were welling in her eyes. She wished the presence of Mr. Bear was all it took to heal her wife. She gently kissed her son’s head and ruffled his hair, “I think that’s a wonderful idea. I’m going to go take it to her right now, okay?”

He nodded at her, excitedly.

“Why don’t you stay with Uncle Jeremy until I come back,” Waverly said. “But just in case I get tired and fall asleep with Mommy, Aunt Wyn might pick you up, okay?”

“Okay, Mama,” he surged forward and buried himself in Waverly’s arms.

“I love you, munchkin,” Waverly repeated.

“I love you too.”

They broke for the hug and Jeremy entered the room. “What do you say buddy? Wanna put on a movie before bed?”

“I’m picking,” he screeched as he took off giggling towards their children’s movies collection.

Waverly smiled after them before returning to face Doc, “Okay, take me to my wife.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter than usual, but I needed to end it where I did because of reasons(;

Henry was resting on Wynonna’s shoulder when they heard a soft knock on the door. Henry lifted his head before looking questioningly at his aunt. When she shrugged her shoulders, he got up and went to open the door.

He let out a sigh of relief when he found his brunette mother staring back at him.

“I’m so sorry, Hen,” she whispered looking ashamed. She felt increasingly guilty the longer she was away from him. He was such a strong boy, but the thought of him facing something this difficult without her or Nicole scared her. She didn’t want him to grow up too fast like Wynonna and herself did.

He didn’t say anything to her, just pulled her quickly into his arms. She let out a sigh of relief as she breathed in the comforting scent of her son. She kept whispering apologies into his embrace before she felt another hand on her shoulder.

She pulled back from the hug to see the teary eyes of her sister. “Are you okay?” Wynonna questioned.

Waverly nodded before contemplating her answer. “I won’t be okay while she is in here, but I am better. I just needed time to process.” She reached for Wynonna’s hand and gave it a grateful squeeze. “Thank you for being here for my family when I couldn’t be.”

Wynonna dismissed her thanks with a shake of her head, “They are my family too.” Wynonna smiled sadly before looking back into the room one last time. “I’m going to go so that you and Henry can visit with her, okay?”

Waverly nodded her head in agreement, but she was still hesitating outside of the room. She didn’t know if she could handle seeing Nicole in this state.

Wynonna, sensing her distress, pulled Waverly into her arms. “You got this, baby girl. She needs you.”

Waverly nodded her head resolutely before taking a deep breath. She reached for her son’s hand and he led them into the room.

When she entered the room her eyes immediately went to Nicole. Her breath caught in her throat at the shape her wife was in. She looked so pale and the countless machines around her were more than intimidating.

“Oh, Nicole,” Waverly cried as she went to her wife’s side. She grasped her hand and gave it a squeeze. Waverly’s eyes ran over the broken leg, the bandages and the head wound that was causing Nicole’s brain to swell. She shook her head in denial, disbelieving that this happened to her wife.

She felt Henry standing next to her and immediately took him in her arms once more.

“She is going to be okay,” Waverly reassured him, even though she wasn’t too sure of it herself.

“She will be,” he returned. He rubbed up and down her back with his good arm, trying to be soothing. He knew his mom was putting on a front to protect him, but he wouldn’t let her forget about herself either. “She is a fighter.”

“Come, let’s sit.” Waverly guided Henry to the chairs that he once occupied with Wynonna. They sat in silence for a beat before Waverly broke it. “Did I ever tell you about the time you called her Mommy for the first time?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Henry said as he turned to Waverly with interest.

“Well, it was just after you started to speak with us. You had called me Mama a few weeks earlier and I could tell that your mom was feeling a little jealous. Although, you did spend most of your time with me since she was busy at the Sheriff’s station, so it was completely understandable.” Waverly smiled to herself as she thought back on the memory. That had honestly been one of the craziest times in her life trying to navigate newfound parenthood of a four-year-old while continuously hunting demons. “This was around the time where you were walking around the station with your cowboy outfit thinking you were the next Doc Holliday. We were on the hunt for this scary demon guy. You were with Doc and Aunt Wyn, but you decided to run off on your own and play hide and seek,” Waverly said looking at him with clear disapproval.

“Oops?” Henry said sheepishly.

“Uh huh, anyways,” Waverly said after giving him another look. She remembered how terrified they would get every time he decided to play hide-and-seek without tell anyone. “The scary demon we were hunting wandered into the station and walked right up to your mom threatening anything related to the Earp’s. She yelled at the guy, he moved to attack her, and she shot him twice in the chest. Now you and I both know that her gun can’t take these guys, but she kept him down long enough for Aunt Wynonna to take care of him.” Waverly smiled proudly at her wife before her gaze settled on her in the bed. Her expression fell immediately, so she cleared her throat and continued. “She had her hero moment and suddenly she hears you from behind her shouting ‘Mommy, mommy, again, again!’ She burst out crying on the spot and that scared you, so then you burst out crying too.” Waverly started laughing as she remembered trying to figure out what had happened that day. She couldn’t understand anything when the little boy and her girlfriend kept pointing at each other while sobbing.

“That did not happen,” Henry said disbelieving.

“Oh, really? Ask your aunt. She had front row seats to the sob fest that day. She still teases her about it to this day,” Waverly looked at her son and chuckled at his skeptical look. “Henry, what do you think this is from?” She imitated her sister, imitating Nicole, she pointed at Henry and mocked a sobbing face.

Henry burst out laughing, “I didn’t know that, that was the story behind it!”

“Well now you know,” Waverly smiled. She reached for Henry’s hand and squeezed it. “Henry, since the beginning she has been so proud to be your mother and she is still so proud.”

“I know,” he smiled thankfully. “She tells me all the time.” He looked between his mothers and moved to stand up. “I think I’ll just let you have some time alone together. I’m kinda hungry anyways.”

Waverly nodded her head before going to her purse to give him some money. She was interrupted by a hand on her arm, “It’s not necessary,” he explained. “Everyone feels really bad so I’m sure they will give me some free food.”

Waverly looked at him with a gaping mouth, “You have been spending way too much time with your aunt.”

“Or,” he drawled. “Not enough?”

“Definitely too much,” Waverly laughed as he kissed her forehead. She watched as he moved to Nicole’s side, she fought tears as bent down to lightly kiss her forehead too.

“Love you, Ma,” Henry said as he left the room.

“Love you too,” she replied. She returned her eyes to her wife and gently pushed the chair closer to her side.

“Hi baby,” Waverly whispered as she ran her fingers over Nicole’s hand. “I really miss you. I was supposed to be checking you out in those cute softball pants tonight.”

She never knew if talking to a person in a coma helped, she never knew if the person could hear what was being said. She assumed it wouldn’t hurt to try.

“I don’t know how you make it look so easy – this whole protecting thing I mean. I just want to hide. I want to run back to our house and curl up in our bed and pretend that nothing can hurt me there. I know I have to be strong for Henry and Jamie, I know you would want me to be strong, but I need you, Nicole.” Waverly took a deep breath as she felt the tears coming to the surface. They were always a team, they faced everything together for fourteen years. She didn’t know how to handle this without her.

“I remember when we first started dating, everything was frightening and scary and then there were these moments where you would just wrap your arms around me, pull me into this giant hug and hold me so securely. I never expected it, but it’s like you knew that I needed someone in that moment. We would be in the middle of a conversation or just standing in a room. It was the first time in my whole entire life that I ever felt safe. I felt like I could take on the world by your side.” Waverly wiped at the tears streaming down her face before quickly grasping Nicole’s hand again. Contact with Nicole was a lifeline for her, she felt grounded, tethered. “I could use one of those famous hugs right now. Wynonna tries, but it’s just not the same.”

She gently brought Nicole’s hand up to her lips and placed a hard kiss against her knuckles. “Don’t worry, darling. You are going to be just fine. These doctors will take such good care of you, we will make sure of it. And then when you wake up and get better, we are going to do all the things we have been putting off.” Waverly held Nicole’s hand against her cheek.

She looked around the room at the machines, she looked at the wounds that Nicole had and the words that the doctor said echoed in her mind. She was _critical._ Waverly remained silent as she stared at Nicole. She felt the tears pouring out of her eyes and didn’t have the strength to wipe them away anymore. She squeezed Nicole’s hand a little harder before leaning closer.

“But if this is too hard for you, if you-,” Waverly let out a sob. “If you can’t fight, sweetheart, just – just let go. I promise we will be okay. I promise that we will be taken care of, safe. I have had the most amazing life with you, Nicole. You have changed my entire world. I wish more than anything that you hang on, that you heal and we grow old together just like we planned to, but if you can’t,” Waverly took a deep breath, trying compose herself. “If you can’t, I promise we won’t blame you. We won’t be mad, darling.”

She stroked Nicole’s hand and gave it another kiss, “I love you, Nicole. You are my one, my only and that will never change no matter what happens. I will never leave you, so please –,” Waverly choked out as her emotions overcame her. “Please try not to leave me.” She closed her eyes as she let the sobs overtake her.

She stayed that way for hours, staring at the unconscious form of her wife. She pleaded with whatever higher power is was out there not to take Nicole away from her.

She fell asleep shortly after, her head nestled into Nicole’s hand. This was a pattern she would come to repeat every night since.

* * *

 

It had been two weeks since the accident. Nicole remained unconscious and her family tried to adjust to life with her missing. The doctors had said that the swelling in her brain had gone down and she was on the right track. They removed her from the medically-induced coma five days ago.

The problem Waverly had was that it was _five days ago_. Why wasn’t she waking up? Waverly barely left her wife’s side. The gang was worried about her. She spent all day by Nicole’s side, went home for a few hours to shower and spend time with Jamie and Henry outside of the hospital and then returned when they fell asleep. All the members of this family were helping to care for the kids right now.

They discovered that Henry was terrified of being in a car again when they had tried to bring him home. Doc decided that he would use this time to walk and explore more of Purgatory with his godson. Henry was at the hospital almost as much as Waverly. They tried to get him to leave, but he wouldn’t budge.

Wynonna, Doc, Dolls and Jeremy alternated watching Jamie and Henry every night while Waverly was at the hospital. They also made sure to stop and bring Waverly food. She was looking worse and worse. The exhaustion on her face was palpable. Wynonna tried to keep her sister company as much as possible, but they all had jobs to do.

It was day fifteen. Waverly had her head resting on Nicole’s bed, fingers gently entwined with her wife’s. She was tired. She just wished she could press rewind or fast forward and skip over this whole mess.

Wynonna was sitting in the corner polishing Peacemaker, she was certain she wasn’t supposed to have him here, but what they didn’t know couldn’t hurt them. She had been at the hospital for a few hours now, keeping an eye on her sister. Henry had gone back to school today and she knew her sister needed someone here to support her. She hated seeing her family like this. It felt like a hole was missing in all of them. They wouldn’t be complete without her.

_“I've waited a hundred years_

_but I'd wait a million more for you.”_

Wynonna heard being sung from the head resting on the bed and cursed as her eyes immediately began filling with tears. “Oh, you are _not_ singing your wedding song, you bitch.”

Waverly didn’t even look up from her head on the bed, she just shushed Wynonna and continued to sing. Wynonna wiped at her eyes as she stared daggers at her sister, she was crying too much lately.

_“Nothing prepared me for_

_what the privilege of being yours would do_

_If I had only felt the warmth within your touch_

_if I had only seen how you smile when you blush_

_or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough_

_I would have known what I was liv-,”_ Waverly tried to continue, but her voice cracked. She squeezed her eyes shut and attempted to keep going, but it was futile.

Waverly heard a moan from above her and her eyes shot up to the hospital bed. She saw Nicole’s eyes started to flutter open and Waverly immediately sprang to her feet.

“Nicole,” Waverly whispered. Her hands hovered over Nicole’s body, unsure where to hold her without hurting her. “Nicole, love, open your eyes for me.”

Wynonna, who was now standing next to Waverly, immediately went to find a nurse.

Nicole’s brown eyes finally locked onto Waverly’s. The brunette beamed back at her wife, happy tears gliding down her cheeks.

“Hi,” Waverly whispered. She was afraid to speak too loudly in fear of scaring her.

Nicole’s eyes scanned around the room clear confusion on her face and Waverly went to reassure her. “You’re okay, you are in the hospital. You were in an accident.”

Nicole’s mouth opened to speak, but her mouth was so dry no words would come out. Waverly went to the side table and poured her a glass of water. She held the straw up to Nicole’s mouth and encouraged her to take small sips.

When finished, Nicole looked at Waverly who was still beaming at her.

“You said I was in an accident?” Nicole questioned, her voice still hoarse from being asleep for two weeks.

“Yes,” Waverly answered sadly. “It was awful. I’m just so glad you and Henry are okay.”

Wynonna came bursting into the room followed by a nurse who began to ask Nicole questions. However, Nicole wasn’t paying any attention, she couldn’t take her eyes off Waverly. No one in the room could have predicted the words Nicole said next.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly searching Waverly’s eyes. “Do I know you?”

The only sound that could be heard was the cup as it fell to the floor splashing water on the linoleum.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me!
> 
> Yell at me in the comments... or be nice because I'm fragile :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blown away by the love I am receiving with this fic! Your comments mean the world to me so thank you, thank you, thank you. Hope you like this chapter(:

Waverly’s lungs felt like the air had been knocked out of them. She struggled to grasp what was happening. She looked from Nicole to her sister who was staring back at her with wide eyes. Waverly quickly grasped for the seat as she felt her legs give out underneath her.

The nurse immediately came up to them from across the room. “Perhaps it would be best if you gave us a few moments, I’m going to just run through a small check up with Nicole to make sure her headwound and bandages are doing well.”

Wynonna nodded briskly at the nurse before helping her sister out of the room. She took a glance back at Nicole whose eyes were following them in confusion.

Wynonna settled Waverly on the floor outside of the room before going to find a doctor. She was scared. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Nicole was supposed to wake up and then they could all forget this ever happened. Nicole wasn’t supposed to wake up and forget everything!

Wynonna closed her eyes briefly to regroup before she heard Dr. Westley speaking to another nurse.

“Doctor,” Wynonna bit out. “Do you mind telling me why my sister-in-law doesn’t remember us? What the hell did you do?”

He put up his hand placatingly. “We said there could be some complications,” the doctor said hesitantly. “Sometimes when the brain swells, it pushes against the skull and causes some impairments. There can be memory loss, mood swings, confusion. It is normal to have some impairments after an injury like this.”

Wynonna stared at him wide-eyed. “Some impairments?” She laughed darkly. “She doesn’t remember us.” She poked him in the chest angrily. “I think that is much more than some impairment, don’t you? And then you have the nerve to say that it’s normal to my face like some jackass. I want my best friend back. Now.” She demanded, harshly. The doctor gulped and nodded before meeting the nurse who was coming out of Nicole’s room.

Wynonna turned to her sister who was gasping for air on the ground.

“Waves. Come on, baby girl. I need you to breath.” Wynonna knelt directly in front of her. She knew her sister wasn’t paying attention, lost in her own panic. “Hey,” she spoke louder. She snapped her fingers in front of Waverly’s face to get her to focus. “Eyes on me.”

Waverly locked her wide, scared eyes on Wynonna. She was still gasping for breath, unable to calm herself down. “Breathe, baby girl.”

Wynonna grabbed Waverly’s hand and placed it firmly over her heart. “Feel me, feel my breathing.” She encouraged her. “Everything is going to be just fine, okay? This family always sticks together. Nicole is going to get through this, we are going to get through this.”

Waverly nodded as she tried to match the rhythm of Wynonna’s breaths. “Good,” Wynonna said when Waverly started to calm down. “Follow me. In – one, two, three. Out – one, two, three. Nice and slow.”

Waverly nodded her head again as her breathing slowly returned to normal. “Good, you are doing great, baby girl” Wynonna whispered proudly. She still held Waverly’s hand firmly against her chest.

When Waverly finally felt calm enough, she lunged into her sister’s arms. They held each other on the floor outside the hospital room for a few minutes. Both women struggling to deal with their new reality.

When they finally calmed down, Waverly looked up at her sister with despair. “What are we going to do?”

“The same thing we always do, stick together and kick this thing’s ass.” She stood up and pulled her sister with her. “I know she doesn’t remember us, but Nicole needs us just as much as we need her right now.”

“I know,” Waverly said quietly. She gently knocked on the door to the hospital room, figuring that she wouldn’t want a compete stranger barging into her room if the situation were reversed. The two women entered after hearing a small voice tell them to come in.

Nicole looked like life had been breathed back inside of her. She was sitting up in bed with her eyes open smiling gently at the pair.  She still had her head and chest bandaged and her leg was still in a cast, but she was here. She was alive. _She must be so confused_ , Waverly thought.

“Hello,” the redhead said shyly from the bed.

Wynonna smiled. Even without her memory, her eyes were glued to Waverly.

“Hi,” Waverly choked out. She stepped closer to the bed. “I didn’t introduce myself before. I-I’m Waverly.” The brunette held out her hand for Nicole to take.

Nicole smiled that dimpled smile Waverly loved so much as she shook the brunette’s hand. “I’m assuming since you are here that you already know my name?” Nicole questioned.

“That’s not all she knows,” Waverly heard Wynonna whisper slyly from behind her.

“Wynonna,” she reprimanded quietly. She didn’t want to scare her wife, she figured too much information at once wouldn’t be good for her. She turned back to Nicole, “This is my sister, Wynonna.”

Wynonna offered her hand to Nicole as well.

Nicole went to ask what exactly they were doing here before Dr. Westley returned to the room.

He avoided Wynonna’s eyes as she shot daggers at him. He chose to focus solely on his patient.

“Hello Nicole,” he said warmly. “My name is Dr. Westley. I just need to ask you a few questions to assess your status right now, is that okay.”

She nodded in response. He stood at the foot of her bed as he pulled out her chart.

“Okay, first, are you in any sort of pain right now?

“My chest feels a little tight and I have a headache, but other than that no. I’m assuming I must be on terrific meds.” That earned her a chuckle from the room.

“I’ll make sure to give you another dose just to make you more comfortable.”

Nicole smiled at him gratefully.

“Do you remember your accident?” 

“No, I don’t,” she said quietly feeling like she was missing something big. She noticed that as she was talking, Waverly and Wynonna stood closer and closer together. She saw them clasping hands tightly as if holding onto each other for support.

“What town do you live in?” The doctor asked next.

“Purgatory,” she said slowly looking around the room confused. Was this really necessary?

“What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a Sheriff’s Deputy, sir,” Nicole said proudly. “Just had my first day a week ago.” She sighed as she leaned back against the pillow. “I doubt being out of commission this early is going to look good with the boss.”

She glanced around the room and saw resignation on each of their faces. Nicole looked to Waverly hoping for an explanation, but the woman was trying to conceal her tears.

The doctor cleared his throat after receiving another glare from Wynonna, “Nicole, what year is it?”

She squinted her eyes at him, “2016, why? What is going on?”

The doctor sighed before stepping closer to Nicole. “You were wheeled in here by ambulance two weeks ago. You are suffering from a broken leg, a punctured lung and a severe head injury. We weren’t sure what the impairments,” a hard clearing of a throat interrupted him before he rephrased. “We weren’t sure what more we could be facing until you woke up.”

Nicole felt dread forming in the pit of her stomach. “So, what _are_ you saying?”

“You have what we call retrograde amnesia,” the doctor said quietly. He knew this was going to be hard to take. Nicole started at him wide eyed for a moment.

“I – I have amnesia,” Nicole stated with a laugh. “Please, tell me you are joking.”

The doctor shook his head solemnly and she glanced at the sisters standing off to the side. The heartbreak on their faces finally made sense.

“How, uh, how much time am I missing?” Nicole asked quietly trying to come to terms with the fact that a huge chunk of her life was missing.

“Around fourteen years,” she heard from the corner of the room. Waverly, yes Waverly, that was her name, stepped towards her. “I met you a few weeks after you came to Purgatory.” Fourteen years? That was over a decade of memories that she had no recollection of. Fourteen years felt like a lifetime.

Waverly wanted to reach out and comfort her wife. She couldn’t imagine how scary this was. She kept inching towards Nicole, desperate to offer comfort in some way, but not knowing what was acceptable anymore. They were back to the beginning, back to square one.

Waverly finally made it to the bed when Nicole burst into tears. “I-I’m sorry,” she tried to apologize. “This is just a lot to take in.”

Waverly took her hand, hoping she wouldn’t be pushed away. She let out a sigh of relief when Nicole squeezed back harder. “Please don’t apologize,” Waverly whispered. “You have nothing to be sorry about. Take all the time you need.” She reached up gently to brush Nicole’s tears away.

Nicole let the sobs overtake her, yelling out in pain when her wounds were aggravated. She started thrashing as her pain increased with the sobs wracking her body. The doctor quickly worked to sedate her before she caused herself anymore damage. Waverly held Nicole’s hand gently as her own tears poured down her face. Wynonna was by her side holding onto Waverly’s other hand. Both women were heartbroken at the sight of Nicole in front of them.

After the doctor was finished and Nicole was out, he locked eyes with Waverly. “I’m sure you have questions.”

She looked at Nicole for a long moment making sure that she was comfortable before asking, “What can we share with her?”

“Unfortunately, with retrograde amnesia, our focus is not to overwhelm the patient because in some cases it can cause psychological damage. I’m sure you can see from what just happened that it is this is all very scary for her. Please be mindful of that. Reminding a person of a life they have no recollection of living can be stressful and cause headaches and dizziness. We want to try and make this as painless as possible for her because we do not know how long she will be this way.”

Waverly’s eyes widened; he went to answer her next question before she even asked it.

“Amnesia is a tricky. Sometimes certain things can trigger a flood of memories and sometimes it’s a process. We really won’t know how it will work. Unfortunately, sometimes the memories will not return. We won’t know the outcome until we see if she starts to remember.”

“Can I tell her about our family?” She asked quietly.

“Yes, it will be important that she knows she has a team with her for her recovery. Be wary of telling her too much detail, too many stories. We want to make sure there is a clear distinction of her remembering the actual memory and remembering what you told her happened.”

She nodded her head before looking at her sister who was sitting there quietly. “I – uh, I can’t really think right now. I’ll come find you if I have any more questions. I just need a moment,” Waverly said smiling sadly at the doctor. He bowed his head and quietly left the room.

Waverly slumped down in her chair, holding her head in her hands as she let the tears overtake her. She thought this was over, she thought Nicole would wake up and everything would be fine.

“I’m so sorry, baby girl,” Wynonna said from beside her.

“Wyn, what am I supposed to tell our kids?”

“You tell them the truth,” Wynonna said firmly. “This is something you can’t hide from them.” She sat down and pulled Waverly into her arms. “Whatever comes next we handle together.”

Waverly nodded against Wynonna’s chest.

“What do we do now?” Wynonna asked.  She had no idea where to go from here.

“We wait till she wakes up,” Waverly replied. “I have to tell her about our family.”

Wynonna chuckled. “Can I please be here to see the look on her face?”

Waverly smiled at her sister’s antics. “You know I have to do this alone.”

Wynonna watched as the smile dimmed from Waverly’s face. “What is it, Waves?”

“I’m scared,” Waverly admitted, quietly. “What if she is disappointed? What if this life we have isn’t what she wants in 2016 and she is unhappy?”

“Waves,” Wynonna tried before Waverly continued.

“What if she doesn’t fall in love with me like she did before? What if she never gets her memories back, Wynonna?” Waverly tried to take a deep breath, but she felt like the oxygen wasn’t reaching her. “I was so afraid that she was going to die and now she is here, but it’s not my Nicole. It’s not my wife.”

“You are spiraling, sweetheart. She may not be your wife, but right there?” She pointed to Nicole. “Laying in that bed is the same Nicole you fell in love with from the beginning. Have you seen the way she looks at you already? She can’t take her eyes off you. I give it three hours before she is wanting to rip your shirt off.”

“Wynonna,” Waverly chastised with a small smile on her face.

“What? If I remember from the story correctly, last time it took her two minutes. This is an improvement,” she smirked. “She’ll probably be tracking down a U-Haul as soon as she wakes up.”

Waverly finally laughed; Wynonna hadn’t felt this accomplished in weeks. She pulled her sister into a hug as they waited for their favorite redhead to wake up.

* * *

 

Nicole opened her eyes a few hours later. Her pain was minimal; she thanked the doctor for alleviating it when he did. She rose her bed slowly, reveling in the feeling of sitting up. She looked around the room and felt her heart sink at the fact that she was alone. She hoped that someone was here. Family, maybe. Was this her life now? Was she alone? She didn’t know what to expect, but sitting alone in a hospital room with fourteen years of memories missing wasn’t it. She sighed to herself, maybe she didn’t achieve the life she always wanted?

“You’re awake,” Waverly said from the door holding a coffee.

Nicole’s eyes snapped to hers and she smiled. “You’re still here?”

“Of course,” Waverly said. She plopped down into her seat next to Nicole’s bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Honestly?” Nicole asked. “Kind of scared. I don’t really know what is happening.” She didn’t know why she was telling this woman, but she felt that she could trust her.

“Well, if you need me to fill in some of the blanks,” Waverly trailed off.

“Are we friends?” Nicole asked. “Is that why you are here?” She was trying to make sense of the woman that she saw the moment she woke up. She must mean something to her.

Waverly smiled, “No, we aren’t friends.”

“Oh,” Nicole said sadly. She looked away from Waverly and fiddled with her hands.

Seeing her wife’s hurt expression, Waverly chuckled which earned her a confused look from Nicole.

_Maybe she should have let Wynonna stick around for this._

Putting the redhead out of her misery, Waverly continued. “I’m your wife.”

Nicole’s eyes widened exponentially as she stared at Waverly. Her mouth opened and closed as she tried to find something to say. “ _Oh,_ I – uh, wow, okay. You are married to me?” Nicole asked again just to be sure.

“Yes,” Waverly replied with a smile. “That’s usually what a wife means,” she teased. Waverly was reveling in the feeling of talking to Nicole, any Nicole, again.

“For real?”

“Yes,” Waverly laughed.

“Huh,” Nicole said as she laid back onto her pillow. Waverly was curious, this wasn’t how she expected her wife to react. Then, she saw the smirk growing on her face.

“What?” Waverly asked already afraid of the answer.

“Nothing,” Nicole assured her. “It’s just that from what I can see you are very beautiful and very kind and if I could pat myself on the back right now I totally would, but I can’t really move my arms so all I can say is _wow_ and that I consider myself very lucky.”

 _And there she was_ , Waverly thought to herself as she smiled sadly. There was her wife.

Nicole smiled softly to herself; turns out she wasn’t so alone. She looked at the woman sitting next to her and imagined the life they must have.

“Do we have a family?” Nicole asked shyly.

“We do,” Waverly smiled. “Two boys, Jamie and Henry.”

Nicole’s face lit up and Waverly watched as her eyes filled with tears. “I’m a mom?” She whispered.

“The best mom,” Waverly assured her. “They miss you like crazy right now. You will absolutely love them; our oldest is just like you.”

Nicole had secretly always wanted to be a mom. She knew she must be a sucker for these children. Just the thought of them gave her butterflies. She didn’t have a relationship with her parents, so she always said that she would make sure her children felt all the love in the world.

“How old are they?” Nicole asked excitedly.

“Jamie is four and Henry is sixteen,” the brunette answered.

“Sixteen? But I’m only miss-,” Nicole tried to ask before Waverly interrupted her.

“We adopted him when he was four,” she explained.

“Oh,” Nicole said trying to file away that piece of information. “How long have _we_ been together?”

“Fourteen years,” Waverly said thinking back on the day they met. “We met shortly after you came to Purgatory.”  Waverly remembered that day like it was yesterday. It was the start of the best journey of her life. She realized that now she was the only one who was aware of it. She tried to fight the tears that were coming, but it was too late. She brought a hand up to wipe quickly at her tears and stopped when she felt a hand clasped in her own. She locked eyes with Nicole who was giving her a watery smile.

“I’m sorry,” Nicole said hesitantly. “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you.”

Waverly shook her head as she wiped her tears. “Don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault. It’s just been an emotional couple of weeks.”

Nicole studied her closely for a second. Waverly felt like all her deepest secrets were laid bare in front of her. She felt exposed.

“What?” She asked self-consciously. She pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear nervously.

“Nothing, it’s just that I can see it,” Nicole said aiming her heart eyes at Waverly.

“See what exactly?” Waverly inquired.

“I can see how I fell in love with you.”


	6. Chapter 6

_“I can see how I fell in love with you.”_

Waverly smiled shyly at Nicole, the redhead always managed to give her butterflies.

She went to respond but was interrupted as the door flew open. Both women jumped, eyes flying to the intruder.

Henry stood in the doorway out of breath, smiling widely at his mother.

Nicole looked at him in awe. She took in every inch of her son. Her eyes roamed his short, dark hair, his piercing green eyes, his sharp jaw line and his athletic build. She focused intently on the broken arm and the cut on his forehead that was freshly healed.

“Henry,” she breathed out in a whisper. This must be Henry.

“How did you get here?” Waverly said, clearly spooked. She wasn’t ready for this. She needed more time to prepare. “Your aunt was supposed to make sure you stayed at home today.”

She darted her eyes between Nicole and Henry thinking of the millions of ways this could go wrong. _She wasn’t ready._

“I ran here. I overheard Uncle Doc talking to Aunt Wyn, he mentioned that Mom woke up and I wanted to see her,” Henry said as he moved towards the bed. Waverly immediately stepped in front of him holding a soft hand to his chest. “Ma, what is it?”

“C-can we please talk outside for a second?” She whispered.

He looked between his mothers confused before nodding.

She took his hand leading him outside the door. Before she exited the room completely, she spared a glance back at Nicole who was looking at her in concern. “I’ll just be a moment,” she said over the lump in her throat. She didn’t wait for a reply before closing the door tightly behind her.

She turned back towards her son and tried to come up with the perfect words to explain. "Henry,” she spoke slowly.

“Ma, what is going on?” He was getting anxious, there was clearly something wrong.

“She,” Waverly tried to begin before a single tear rolled down her cheek. “She doesn’t remember us, Henry. According to her, she came to Purgatory a week ago.”

Henry felt like a knife sliced through him. The thoughts he worked so hard to erase came back tenfold.

“I-I did this,” he whispered. He shook his head at himself. If only he had seen the truck coming. If he had, they wouldn’t be here. This wouldn’t have happened.

Waverly’s voice became firm as she stepped closer to him. “You stop that right now. You did not do this to her. The only person to blame is that shit-ticket that ran the red light.”

He slid to the ground slowly, putting his head in his hands. Waverly knew the tears were coming before she saw his shoulders start to shake. She sank to her knees and rubbed his back soothingly.

“Ma,” he sobbed. “How am I supposed to tell her how sorry I am if she doesn’t even remember me, remember _us_?” He aggressively wiped at his tears. “I’m so sorry, Ma. I didn’t mean to take her away from you.”

Waverly’s heart broke seeing her son in such a state. Her whole family was falling apart, she didn’t know how to fix it.

“Henry, she does not blame you for this and neither do I. Whether she has her memories or not doesn’t change that fact.” She pulled her son into her arms. He clung to her, hands gripping at her shirt. Waverly gently rocked them back and forth ignoring the sympathetic smiles from the nurses passing by. “She is still here, Henry. We will get her back completely, I just know it. Why don’t I go introduce you?” She said hopefully.

Waverly moved to stand up, but he held her in place. She waited. After his tears calmed down, he pulled away, but not by much.

“What if she doesn’t want me here?” Henry asked, solemnly.

Waverly smiled to herself. He couldn’t be further from the truth. She saw the way Nicole had looked at him when he came in. She may not know him yet, but there was utter love and adoration in her eyes when she saw her son.

“Nonsense,” she replied. She released herself from Henry’s hold before standing up. She held out her hand for her son to take. She applauded herself when he hesitantly took it.

Waverly squeezed his hand in encouragement before leading him back into the room.

Nicole was sitting in her bed fiddling nervously with her fingers. She would give anything to have her memories returned, so that she could comfort the people who clearly meant the world to her.

When Waverly and Henry opened the door to return, both eyes were red from fresh tears. Nicole closed her eyes as a wave of guilt hit her. She pushed down that feeling and smiled hesitantly at Henry.

He eyed Nicole warily at first, trying to pick up on subtle differences, but he couldn’t find any until he locked eyes with her. It was her eyes. Her eyes weren’t looking at him with familiarity any longer. She was looking at him in awe, not with the playfulness and affection she usually did. She was looking at him as if she was trying to place him somewhere but couldn’t. It pained him to know that this was his new normal.

He finally reached her side before holding out a hand.

“Hi…Nicole,” he settled on. He was unsure if she wanted to be called mom. “I’m Henry.”

Nicole looked at him with a frown. “Nicole,” she thought over her name. “Is that what you call me?”

“N-no,” Henry stuttered out. “I call you mom, I just wasn’t sure if you would be comfortable. I didn’t want to assume,” he trailed off.

“Mom is good.” Nicole replied simply. She gently took Henry’s hand that was still extended to her and gave him a brilliant smile. “Would it be weird if I asked for a hug?” She whispered.

Henry shook his head and moved to bend down. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he moved his arms around his mother’s waist, careful to steer clear of her bandages. She reciprocated the hug by placing her arms around his neck, soaking in the presence of her son.

Henry breathed his mother in for the first time in two weeks. He missed her comforting smell, the way her arms felt wrapped around him. He missed the way the ends of her hair tickled his face when they hugged and the way she would ruffle his hair when they pulled away. He missed _her_.

He tried to fight his tears, but the dam broke. Uncontrollable sobs wracked his body as he clung to her.

 “I’m so sorry,” he whispered into her neck. “I’m so sorry, Mom.”

“Henry, I -,” Nicole tried, but she didn’t know what he was talking about.

Nicole looked to Waverly in alarm as she held the crying boy. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know why he was apologizing. She looked to Waverly for answers, but saw the woman holding a hand over her mouth as she forced herself not to break.

Nicole felt tears streaming down the side of her neck and she cupped the back of Henry’s head as she tried to soothe him. “Henry, why do you keep apologizing?”

He pulled away from her slowly, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. He looked at her, ashamed. He was afraid to tell her, afraid that if she knew she would blame him like he already blamed himself.

“I was driving when we got into the accident,” Henry quietly answered. “A guy ran a red light, but I was driving. I should have stopped.”

Nicole studied her son closely before taking his good hand. She stared at his hand in hers knowing that this relationship was incredibly important to her but having no memories of just how much. Finally, she brought her eyes back to his.

“Henry,” she whispered. “I woke up this morning with a wife and kids that I have no memories of. I don’t know what my job is or where I live. I don’t know what I eat for breakfast in the morning or who my friends are in this town,” she paused to make sure she had his attention. “There are so many parts about my life right now that are overwhelming and uncertain, but the one thing I can be absolutely certain about?” She ended with a questioning lilt to her voice. “The one thing I know for a fact, memories or no memories, is that this isn’t your fault.” Nicole looked at him. She was determined to get him to see this. Since this was technically her first time parenting, she hoped she was doing okay. She looked towards Waverly and was relieved to see the brunette smiling back as she wiped at some fresh tears. Waverly gave her a reassuring nod before the redhead focused back on Henry.

He stared at his mother for a long moment battling with himself in his head before he finally let out a big exhale. It was as if hearing it from her had dispelled most of his inner turmoil. Maybe if she didn’t blame him, he didn’t have to blame himself.

He wanted to thank her. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, how much she meant to him. Instead he replied with, “You are the Sheriff.”

When he saw her eyes widen, he chuckled. “You live in the suburbs of Purgatory, close to your old house when you first moved here.”

Nicole listened attentively, trying to soak in all of this new information.

“You are a really shitty cook,” Henry went on. He was interrupted by a snort from his brunette mother and an offended look from the other. “Well, it’s true.” He supplied, smiling when she acquiesced. “You eat whatever Ma makes for breakfast. Although,” he thought to himself. “You do like her waffles a lot. Oh, and you have a lot of friends. Aunt Wyn is your best friend and you are also close with Uncle Doc and Uncle Dolls. I think you will meet them soon, right?” He said aiming the question at his other mother. Waverly gave him a nod in response.

“Thank you, Henry.” Nicole said gratefully. “I feel like I’m going to be needing a lot of help with this stuff when I get out of here.”

Henry smiled at her happy to help.

He remained at the hospital for another hour. Nicole asked him about himself. She asked what he did in school, his favorite subjects, if he played any sports. She wanted to get to know her son. She listened with rapt attention, hanging on to every word. Waverly was content to sit back and watch them interact. She felt that this would be good for both of them.

When they saw that Nicole was getting tired, he said his goodbyes with promises to return. Waverly, who had watched the whole scene with utter adoration on her face, followed him out of the room.

When they exited the room, she spun to him immediately.

“Henry, I am so proud of you.” She grabbed his good arm and pulled him into a tight hug.

“She is still there, Ma. We just have to help her remember us.” He gave her one of his charming lopsided grins as they pulled away. Waverly nodded her head in agreement, eyes shifting across the hall.

“Henry, what do I do about your brother?” Waverly whispered. “I don’t want to make this hard for him, he is only just a little boy. How am I supposed to tell him his mother, his _hero_ , has no idea who he is?”

Henry leaned back against the wall as he thought for a moment. “What if we don’t tell him?”

Waverly looked at him skeptically for a moment before she really considered it.

* * *

 

That had been a day ago. She decided, albeit reluctantly, that it might be easier to keep the truth from Jamie. They could make this work. Jamie, although observant, would be too happy his mother had returned to notice that she was slightly different. She hoped. She wouldn’t tell Nicole of her plan yet, unable to come to terms with the fact that she would be lying to her son, even if it meant protecting him.

She tried to shut those thoughts off, choosing to focus on Nicole instead. She was sitting up in her hospital bed staring intently in front of her. It had been a rough couple of days. Nicole was still in pain. Waverly could tell she was trying to put on a strong front, but she knew her wife too well. The doctor explained this morning that Nicole would be released in a day or two if her progress increased steadily.

Waverly was nervous to take her home, unsure how the redhead would handle the unfamiliar environment. It was easy to distance yourself from the truth in the hospital. But, in a strange home surrounded by family, pictures and reminders of a life that you can’t remember? Well, it seemed like it could only end in pain and heartache for her.

“Hey, Waves?” Nicole asked, absentmindedly.

_Waves._

Waverly froze in her seat as the tears immediately sprung to the surface. She looked at Nicole with a small smile on her face. If she pretended hard enough, the way she said her name held all the familiarity the last fourteen years together brought them. Unfortunately, this was just another reminder of what was missing.

“Yes?” She choked out. She cursed herself for how affected she was.

Noticing the brunette’s reaction, Nicole immediately went to apologize.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset,” she said quietly. “Is it okay if I call you that?”

“More than okay,” Waverly whispered as a traitorous tear cascaded down her face. She cleared her throat gently before remembering that Nicole had a question. “What can I do for you? Are you okay?”

Nicole nodded her head quickly. Though she was still eyeing Waverly curiously, she continued, “Who is that?” The redhead pointed to the stuffed bear sitting at the end of the bed.

Waverly’s eyes immediately lit up, “Well, that is Mr. Bear. He is an important member of the family,” she smirked as she stood up from her chair to go get him. “This is Jamie’s, when we went to go pick him up at the adoption center we brought it with us. It really hasn’t left his side since.” Waverly played with the worn-out ears and the spot where she had attempted to stitch the poor animal back together when his arm ripped off.

“Why is he here?” Nicole wondered.

“I told Jamie that you were with a doctor who was fixing all of your boo-boos.” She looked up from the bear to share a small smile with Nicole. “He told me that Mr. Bear always makes him feel better and that maybe it will make you better too. He asked me to bring Mr. Bear and to give you a kiss from him,” Waverly said looking away with a slight blush. She didn’t understand why she felt like a giddy teenager around her wife again.

Nicole was studying her once more with a small smile before holding out her arms for the teddy bear. Waverly’s smile grew as she handed Mr. Bear to Nicole. The redhead took the bear in her arms and held it as tight as she could to her chest while still recovering.

“I’m feeling better already,” she remarked with a grin. Waverly smiled before moving to return to her seat. “I believe he asked you to give me something else,” Nicole stopped Waverly in her tracks.

Waverly was frozen facing her chair before she slowly turned to her wife. “Nicole,” she trailed off. If she kissed Nicole she felt like she would be taking advantage. She didn’t feel right kissing her right now, she didn’t think Nicole was ready. If Waverly was more honest with herself, she didn’t think she was ready either.

“It’s okay,” Nicole replied. “I was only messing with you anyways.”

“I would love to kiss you, Nicole. I just can’t, not yet.”

Nicole nodded in understanding. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the pillow. It was easier to play along with all of this than face the real issues. It was easier to flirt and joke than come to terms with a life that wasn’t technically hers right now.

“Are you okay?” Waverly whispered when she saw Nicole’s eyes closed.

Nicole opened her eyes as a single tear escaped. “I’m terrified,” she said hoarsely.

Waverly’s eyes widened, she leaned forward to grasp Nicole’s hand firmly in hers. “Talk to me?” she asked.

Nicole let out a shaky breath before she continued, “I woke up this morning to a life that isn’t mine.” She squeezed Waverly’s hand in hers, drawing strength from the brunette in front of her. “I feel like I’m living in a fantasy, ready to wake up at any moment. I don’t know what is real, what is fake. I feel so out of control. I don’t like this, Waverly. I don’t like relying on other people to know more about _me_.”

“Nicole,” Waverly whispered. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to comfort someone who was missing a huge portion of their life.

“It’s easier,” Nicole continued. “It’s easier to play along than to face the fact that I don’t know who I am anymore.” Nicole wiped frustratingly at her tears. She felt so lost, overwhelmed.

Waverly got up from her seat and sat on the edge of the bed. She brought her hands up to cup Nicole’s face and gently brushed her tears away with her thumbs. Nicole was frozen, staring into the soulful eyes of the woman she had supposedly married.

“I can’t imagine how scary and overwhelming this is for you,” she spoke softly. Waverly’s hands still gently cupped Nicole’s face, careful to avoid the bandages. “I can’t promise this is going to be easy. I can’t promise there won’t be days when you want nothing more than to be alone or to hide away in peace. I just need you to know this is real. Our family is real, your life is real. I know I’m still a stranger, but you don’t have to be afraid to lose your control with me. I will always protect your heart, Nicole, _always_. It’s okay to be scared, but you don’t have to do it alone.” Waverly leaned in and placed a gentle, but firm kiss to Nicole’s forehead.

Nicole reveled in the closeness, the security she felt with the other woman. “I wish I had memories of you,” the redhead whispered. She gently grasped Waverly’s wrist and stroked it with the pad of her thumb. She stared into Waverly’s eyes overcome with emotion. “I wish I could remember what it feels like to be loved by you.”

Waverly smiled at her shyly, “you don’t need your memories for that.”

Nicole returned the shy smile before a yawn broke their moment. Waverly stood up from her spot on the bed earning herself a frown from Nicole.

“It’s getting late, why don’t I let you sleep?” Waverly suggested.

Nicole wanted to protest, but her exhaustion was catching up with her. “Will you stay, just until I fall asleep?” She couldn’t explain it. She couldn’t explain why she felt so comfortable around this woman. Her new life was a little less scary with Waverly by her side.

“Of course,” Waverly nodded. She took her designated seat next to Nicole and tried to remain quiet as the other woman slowly drifted off.

* * *

 

When Nicole finally succumbed to sleep, arm clutched tightly around Mr. Bear, Waverly let the tears fall. She cried for her wife who struggled to make sense of a world that felt completely foreign to her. She cried for her children who lost a mother that knew and loved absolutely everything about them. She cried for herself. She cried because she didn’t know if she had the strength to keep it all together. She didn’t know if she could get through this without _her_ Nicole by her side. She didn’t realize how much she would miss Nicole when the woman was right there in front of her.

As the silent tears continued to fall, she heard a sigh from the doorway.

“Oh, baby girl.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE!
> 
> A HUGE apology that it has been so long since I have updated this. All I can say is that life got in the way and I lost my motivation to continue, but I am back and I hope to update regularly. :)

_ “Oh, baby girl.” _

  
Waverly locked eyes with her sister and let out a harsh sob. Wynonna took large steps to the younger woman, before she enveloped her in her arms.   
  


“Shhh,” Wynonna tried to console her. She looked over Waverly’s head to peer at Nicole trying to make sure the other woman didn’t wake. She rubbed her sister’s back soothingly hoping to provide even an ounce of comfort. She fought her own tears as Waverly’s body shook in her arms. Wynonna desperately held on tighter as if the strength of her arms could physically hold Waverly together. 

  
“I thought it would get easier,” Waverly whispered as she clutched onto the back of Wynonna’s shirt. “I thought this whole experience would be easier once she woke up.”  

 

“You are not alone, Waverly. She will come back,” Wynonna tried to reassure both herself and her sister. They both looked over at the sleeping redhead. She looked so peaceful. Granted, her body was still in rough shape, but in her sleep she seemed oblivious to the struggles that were fast approaching when she woke up. They knew as much as they were hurting, this would not be easy for Nicole either.       

 

“What if she doesn’t?” Waverly spoke after a few minutes of silence. She was unable to stop the recurring thought from leaving her mind. 

 

Wynonna kissed the top of Waverly’s head and gently stroked her back. “Waves, you and I both know Nicole could never stay away for long. She will always come back to you. She has loved you for everything you are and every you aren’t. Give her time, she will come back.”

 

“I didn’t realize how much this would-,” Waverly tried to speak, but she couldn’t get it out over the lump in her throat. She wiped away the tears that wouldn’t stop coming. 

 

Luckily, Wynonna was there to fill in the blanks. “You need her. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. You lost your light, Waves, but I promise I will be here until you get her back.”

 

Waverly leaned back from their embrace to get a better look at her sister. The  _ until you get her back  _ sitting uneasily in her mind. She didn’t want Wynonna to think that she wasn’t just as important to her as Nicole. If she lost either of them Waverly would be absolutely devastated. 

 

“You’re my light too, Wynonna.” Waverly reassured her, going back in for a hug. “I need you just as much. I wouldn’t be able to carry on without either of you.”

 

Wynonna smiled to herself before wrapping her arms tighter around the smaller woman. “Waves, I get it. You don’t have to explain yourself to me. It’s just - She gave you something that I never could.”

“What?”

 

“In all the years she has known you, she never left. She stuck by you, no matter what. She proved every chance she got that she loved you with everything she had. I didn’t do the same and I’m not going to make that mistake again.” 

  
Waverly cleared her throat uncomfortably and moved to straighten up in her seat. There was always a heaviness that entered the room at the reminder of their past. She fought down the feelings of abandonment she still carried with her. “What are you doing here? It’s late.”

  
The older woman’s heart clenched as she watched her sister try and change the subject. Unfortunately, that wasn’t going to work. “I came to offer my services.”

 

“Services?” Waverly questioned.

  
“Yes, I am going to be staying with you for a while when she,” Wynonna nodded her head to the woman in the bed, “gets out of here.”   
  


“Stay with us?”  Waverly asked slowly. She rose her eyebrows in confusion. “Why?”   
  


“Waves, I know you are trying to act strong and keep it all together, but I see you. You are falling apart inside and I don’t want you to do it alone. _ Nicole _ ,” Wynonna emphasized, “wouldn’t want you to do it alone. You need help looking after the boys and you have an amnesiac wife who wants to jump your bones. You can only handle so much at once,” she finished with a smirk. 

  
Waverly was silent for a long moment as she studied her sister with teary eyes. “You would do that for me?”   
  


Wynonna only laughed as she rested her forehead against Waverly’s. “Honestly, I don’t think there is anything I wouldn’t do for you.”   
  


“I don’t know how I could ever thank you,” Waverly whispered as her tears started to fall once more. She was terrified of doing this alone, but the knowledge that Wynonna was going to be there to help her made all of the difference. She needed her sister now more than ever.    
  


“Oh, please. You have helped me clean up my shit for years, it was about time I returned the favor.” She lifted her head and placed a gentle kiss on Waverly’s forehead. “I got you, kid.”   
  


When their emotions finally calmed down, Wynonna pulled out Peacemaker and started to polish it. After receiving an eye roll from her sister, she spoke up to defend herself. “What? It relaxes me.”

 

“God, what I wouldn’t give to be relaxed right now,” Waverly groaned. Her mind was all over the place. She couldn’t focus on anything besides Nicole and her memories. She felt like everything was falling apart. She had never had the urge to run so much in her life, not away from her family, just away from the circumstances. She just wanted to crawl in bed with Nicole, memories intact, and cuddle with their children. 

 

“What will help you relax?” Wynonna interrupted her thoughts. Waverly shrugged as she rubbed at her eyes. The exhaustion of the past couple weeks hitting her hard. “Tell me a story.”

 

“A story?” Waverly asked with a lopsided smile. “Like a children’s story?”

 

“No dingus, like a story about you and your lady love.” 

 

Waverly sighed trying to think about a story that wouldn’t make her burst into tears. “Okay,” she paused. “Once upon a time,” she began with a smirk.

 

Wynonna rolled her eyes and they both chuckled softly to themselves sneaking glances at the redhead still asleep in the bed in front of them. 

 

“You are such a smartass.”

 

“It’s a part of the charm. Now stop interrupting,” she said as she lightly slapped Wynonna’s arm. “I remember we were lying in bed at the homestead one morning, just a regular day. I think it was just after the whole deal with Bulshar. We discussed our future in passing, I mean we both knew we wanted to spend as long as we could together, but she turned to me that day, I will never forget the look in her eyes. It was just after we woke up, she wrapped her arms tightly around me and whispered ‘all I want is to be loved by you for as long as I possibly can’.” Waverly closed her eyes as she thought back to that moment. The morning light peaking through the window, casting the perfect glow upon them. “I knew then that every day I wanted to wake up and see her lying next to me. Forever just wouldn’t be long enough. I’d never felt so safe, so at home. I just wanted to stay there forever and never move. A few weeks later, I proposed. ” 

 

“God, you two make me barf.” Wynonna remarked tearing Waverly from her memory. 

 

She opened her eyes and saw Nicole staring back at her. Waverly’s eyes widened and she quickly cleared her throat. She wondered how long Nicole had been awake.

 

“Hi, sleepyhead,” she smiled sweetly trying to move on from the heaviness of the story. 

 

“Hey,” Nicole responded, hoarsely. Everyone chose to ignore the tears that had formed in her eyes. The couple stared at each other for an intense moment, neither knowing what to say next.

 

“Hi,” Wynonna said awkwardly after a minute. Waverly gave her a look. “Well everyone else was saying something, I didn’t want to be left out.” Wynonna shrugged going back to her gun.   

 

They both turned to look at Nicole who was studying them strangely. 

 

“I don’t think you are supposed to have that in here,” she told Wynonna, glancing at the gun in her hands.   
  


“I see the accident didn’t dislodge the giant stick up her ass.” Wynonna mock-whispered as she angled her head towards her sister. Waverly fought down the smile and gave her sister a little shove in reprimand.    
  


Nicole was quiet for a moment longer before she spoke. “We’re - I mean you’re my best friend?” she asked studying Wynonna carefully.   
  


“You bet your sweet ass I am,” Wynonna said proudly. She narrowed her eyes at Nicole when the redhead cocked her head to the side. “Is that okay with you?”   
  


“Yeah, I mean, I guess I was just expecting someone different,” Nicole whispered.   
  


Wynonna let out a snort, “believe me, everyone expects someone different.”   
  


Nicole looked at her quizzically, unsure what that was supposed to mean. 

 

“So when are we taking Tater Haught home?” Wynonna directed her question at Waverly, trying to fight off the smirk as she watched Nicole mouth ‘Tater Haught’ to herself with a frown.

 

“Possibly tomorrow, if all goes well,” Waverly said. “So if you wanted to bring stuff over tonight feel free.”

 

“Two sisters, an amnesiac and two children. I mean this is gonna be fucking wild.” 

 

“I’m sorry,” Nicole interrupted. “Can someone please tell me what is happening?”

 

“I’m your new roommate, Haught stuff,” Wynonna smirked. “We are all going to be under the same roof, just like old times. I mean, you don’t remember so it won’t be exactly like old times. Hopefully that is a good thing, because I walked in on you and my sister enough for a lifetime, so let’s keep the clothes on this time and the moans to a minimum, hm?”

 

“Um,” Nicole’s eyes were wide and Waverly was rubbing her temples, but Wynonna felt like she got her point across. 

 

“Oh, and I know I told you before, but if you hurt my baby sister I’ll kill you, got it?” She rose Peacemaker and gave it a little wave. 

 

“Wynonna,” Waverly sighed. She didn’t know what had gotten into her sister, but she figured it was time for her to go. “Well it’s time for Wynonna to go. She will see you when you get home. Say goodbye, Wynonna,” Waverly said as she pulled Wynonna from her seat. 

 

Wynonna waved to Nicole and couldn’t help, but chuckle at the wide-eyes staring back at her. “Bye, Ginger Spice. Can’t wait to see you at home.” 

 

Waverly pulled Wynonna out of the room before giving an apologetic look to Nicole. “I’ll just be one moment.” She gave an awkward wave and quickly closed the door. “What the hell, Wynonna!” Waverly whispered angrily to her sister. 

 

Wynonna couldn’t stop laughing, “did you see her face?”

 

“Why were you acting like a crazy person? You were embarrassing! I am trying to get her to like me, not immediately run as far as she can in the other direction when she is feeling better.”

 

“Baby girl, our whole life is wrapped in craziness between the demons, the monsters, Doc. If she is going to be a part of it, she has to get used to it and quick. She is coming home tomorrow. She was able to do it once, I know she will be able to again. Trust me, I am the least of her worries. Some light teasing is not going to hurt her. She needs to start getting accustomed to us, the real us. We are all a little crazy.”

 

Waverly nodded. She couldn’t help, but feel nervous. She felt like she was back at the beginning. Nicole was just starting to get to know her again, she was at a disadvantage. She felt like if she made one wrong move it would push Nicole away or make Nicole realize Waverly wasn’t actually what she wanted. It would be so easy for her to leave, Waverly and this version of Nicole didn’t have any history. 

 

“I know you want her to like you, baby girl, I mean she is your wife. Just don’t try and force yourself to be perfect for her, okay? Be you. Nicole fell in love with you for you, faults and all. She will do it again, I know it. She’s gotta accept the crazy too. All of it. Remember what I told you earlier? No matter what happened Nicole always stayed. Memory or not, I don’t think that is something that will ever change. Now go inside and spend time with your girl.”

 

Waverly pulled Wynonna into her arms. She didn’t know what she would do without her sister. She was so glad she was going through this with Wynonna by her side. Ever since Wynonna came back to Purgatory she felt like it was them against the world, she didn’t think that feeling would ever change, only grow stronger the more their family grew. 

 

After saying their goodbyes, Waverly reentered the room. She gave Nicole a sheepish look and returned to her seat next to the bed. 

 

“So” Nicole was the first to speak. “That was your sister, huh?”

 

Waverly studied her for a moment, unsure of what Nicole was feeling. “Yes, that was Wynonna. She can be a little much.” Waverly chuckled.

 

“Yeah, you could say that.” Nicole smiled at her. “Although, I think I’m gonna like her.” 

 

“Really?” Waverly asked, surprised. 

 

“She is a little out there, but she is extremely protective over you and as a sister-in-law and a best friend,” Nicole paused, “well I really don’t think I could ask for more.” 

 

“Wow,” Waverly sighed, trying to keep the dreaminess from her voice. “Even with no memory you are still so smooth.”

 

Nicole smirked, “It’s truly a gift.” 

 

“So now that we are alone, I wanted to talk to you about going home tomorrow. Are you ready for that?” 

 

Waverly watched as Nicole bit her lip nervously. She felt the anxiety radiating from Nicole and the only way she knew how to make it better at the moment was to reach for the redhead’s hand. She grasped it gently and rubbed her thumb soothingly over her knuckles waiting for Nicole to speak.    
  


“If I say no, will you hold it against me?” Nicole whispered.   
  


“Of course not, I can’t imagine how scary this is for you.”   
  


Nicole studied Waverly before she admitted, “I’m afraid that I’m going to let everyone down.”   
  


“Nicole,” Waverly began, but was cut off.   
  


“Just let me explain,” Nicole begged. “Please.”    
  


Waverly nodded her head allowing Nicole to continue. Nicole focused her eyes on their clasped hands. She traced her finger along the lines of Waverly’s palm. Looking in her eyes right now, baring her soul? That was just too much. She needed to work up the courage first.    
  


“I have this vision in my head of the version of myself that I can’t remember. She is basically everything that I am not. She is a wife, a mom, a kickass Sheriff, but I’m not her. I’m not that person and I don’t want to let anyone down,” she took a deep breath. 

 

Waverly tried to interrupt, but the redhead kept going. 

 

“I’m sure you know that my family and I don’t talk. I’m guessing that’s why they haven’t bothered to show up in the hospital at all. I was always a disappointment. They always wanted me to be something more. What I wanted to do in life never really measured up,” Nicole trailed off quietly. She took a deep breath, willing herself to continue. “I think I’m just afraid that now that I have this amazing family of my own, I’m going to disappoint everyone all over again.” She finally rose her head to lock eyes with Waverly. “And if that happened I don’t know if I could bear it.”

 

Waverly’s heart hurt for her wife. They had talked about her parents a dozen times over the years. They worked through the issues with the cult, the abandonment Nicole felt, but her wife doesn’t remember any of it. 

 

Waverly brought their hands up to her cheek and tried to convey everything she was feeling in the look she was sending Nicole. “I’m going to tell you something and I need you to listen very closely, okay?”

 

Nicole nodded. Waverly could tell she was afraid of what was coming next. 

 

“I see you. I see you for everything you are and everything you aren’t. You are enough and you will never be a disappointment to this family. I have spent my entire life searching for someone who would love me the way you do. I know you don’t know me, I know I’m a complete stranger, but I never want you to doubt that you are worth everything to me. You are worth everything to all of us.” 

 

Nicole was looking at Waverly in awe as a tear slipped down her cheek. Waverly said the words she was so desperate to here. Waverly lifted her hand to wipe the tear that was cascading down the redhead’s cheek.

 

She thought back to what her sister said earlier. “Nicole, I don’t want you to be anyone, but you. Flaws and all. Never be afraid of disappointing me or the boys. You never have to measure up, so don’t ever be afraid of that. This family isn’t perfect, but that’s what makes us so great. Unlike your parents, we will always be here. There will never be a day where you wake up and wonder where our family is, okay?” Waverly looked at Nicole with the sweetest smile and the Sheriff melted.  

 

“I was right,” Nicole whispered. “This feeling? It is _ all _ I want.”

 

“I’m sorry?” Waverly asked, confused.

 

“From your story,” Nicole clarified. “For as long as I possibly can.”

 

Waverly’s heart beat rapidly in her chest as her eyes filled with tears. The smile that sprang to her face was completely unbidden, Nicole’s hand still pressed to her cheek. 

 

She felt like she was falling in love all over again. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter! @escaped_reality :)


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